Okugo Contract Details Remind Man Of Uncomfortable MLS Facts

Philadelphia, PA - "Oh right..... players are owned the by the league," stated Mr Jesse Noddard of Philadelphia. "I actually forgot about all of that for a second."

Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports

"Hey, did you remember, today, that the league controls the contracts of every player in the league and the way in which teams can sell players"

Reportedly, Mr Noddard was going to get another cup of coffee when he heard about former Union player Amobi Okugo's loan to Red Bull New York 2 from the league itself. The confusion set in for a few minutes until he remembered the insane way in which the league he watches conducts itself.

"I had, for a moment, enjoyed the Union's play and the way in which we are picking up points early while simultaneously forgetting that this is largely a league of bullshit player contracts that somehow manages to hold the rights of every player and dole them out like condoms at a swingers party." stated Mr Noddard. 

When Mr Noddard remembered the contract details, he also remembered that his club was really just a financial subsidiary of the league itself and the owners of his club just general investors into something that more resembles a pyramid scheme than a sporting league.

"None of this is going to temper my excitement for the Union, but man.... this league sucks sometimes."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this when Mr Noddard remembers that Major League Soccer actually pays for player acquisitions and utilizes expansion money to acquire players for rival clubs.

USSF Offer New Street Program To Improve Credibility And Skill Of Its Youth Players

CHICAGO - The US Soccer Federation announced, on Monday, a broad new measure to improve the credibility and skill of its youth players after watching the disappointing performances of Jordan Morris in 2016.

"We need more Luis Suarez and less Jordan Morris." - Walter Fredrick - USSF

The Nutmeg News spoke with public relations officer Walter Fredrick about the new program and he had the following to say.

"The US Soccer Federation watched the development of Jordan Morris and other United States Youth. We realized that we are not offering the right options for them to succeed in the international game. Thus, we are announcing that we changed our options at Bradenton to a street course instead of the formerly pristine training environment. 

First we brought in a state-of-the-art dirt lot to toughen up our new crop of youth players, straight from the backyards of some of our donors in the Hamptons. We also offer an alternate street course with realistic street environment including driving cars, a goal made out of empty detergent bottles, broken glass littering the street, improperly disposed hypodermic needles, condoms, and ripped pages of pornography. 

We have to get these youth players adjusted to the real world. At least one of them will be kidnapped at gunpoint and forced to work in a drug facility packaging methamphetamine as a warning to our other youth team players of what can happen. While others will be separated based on weakness and put into street gangs."

Reportedly, the US Soccer Federation has set up an elaborate sound system that encircles the new training facility allowing them to pipe in gunfire, Samba music, ambient ambulance and police sirens, Ranchera music, Rap music, older players talking shit, Cumbia music, and the wails of the players mothers screaming for their children to make something of their life.

"We already have had some failures," stated Mr Fredrick. "On a trial run, Johnny McEntire looked for the orange slices and the Capri Sun flavored Advocare only to find a used condom. He fell to his knees and cried. Bradley Knox was left cramping as he refused to drink the non-potable water. Zaden Heatherton left training at the lack of our gluten-free, organic, non-gmo options. Let's be honest, if these kids haven't suffered malnutrition and dysentery at least 4 times in a single month they are being shipped back to Beverly Hills. It's all well and good to send our kids to University, but beyond the meaning of Plato's Republic, they're not learning a thing about the important things in life...like how to perform a Cruyff turn on broken glass while a pimp is beating a john in the alleyway for not paying for services rendered."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the lawsuits begin.

Miami FC Announce Kits And Tits Promotion

Miami, FL - Miami FC have announced a new Kits and Tits promotion for their upcoming home game.

"The best thing about the NASL is that I get older and the girls stay the same age. HUBBA HUBBA"

The Nutmeg News spoke with Miami FC president Riccardo Silva about the new promotion.

"There is nothing more erotic than soccer and a half naked woman. That's why Miami FC are implementing our Kits and Tits giveaway for our upcoming home game against the Tampa Bay Rowdies. We are inviting all the fraternities from Florida International University down to the field to hose down some ample bosom women that we recruited from Wonderland Miami and whoever has the Miami FC (TM) Best Chest 2016 wins their team a free kit."

Reportedly, fraternities from FIU will be required to only use Miami FC branded super soakers as a way to hose down the co-ed of their choice.

Mr Silva stated, "We hired Dan Cortez and Daisy Fuentes to host the event and we will have an UGG-O-METER to determine if the women are pretty enough or should be dumped into a vat of Miami FC Astroglide Lube Of Shame (TM). Honestly, we are thinking of just cancelling the game and hosting a rave and spring break in the middle of the pitch. It's going to be great. We also picked up 200 gallons of edible body paint for our upcoming Miami FC RUB AND TUG event where our Strippers will be painted up and forced to pass the paint by rubbing themselves against a Miami FC fan."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Miami FC obtain a full-time sexual harassment lawyer on staff.

US Soccer Blasts USMNT, "Play Better, So We Don't Have To Pay The USWNT More Money"

CHICAGO - The US Soccer Federation sent a strongly worded email to Jurgen Klinsmann and the players on the United States Men's Team blasting them for their lackadaisical play that has lead to the Federations inability to claim that the Men's Team is higher earning and better than their female counterparts.

Photo Courtesy of AP/Jessica Hill/@nutmegnews

"You are directly responsible for all of this Equal Employment Opportunity Commission complaint business," stated the email from Sunil Gulati directed towards the United State Men's National Team.

"If you played better, then perhaps these uppity women wouldn't be looking for an increase in pay. As it stands, the fact that you have routinely looked like reheated dog turds brings into question whether you are better or worse at your game than a team that just won the World Cup and is odds on favorites to win the Olympics."

Additionally, the US Soccer Federation is apparently worried that having to pay women an equal amount of money to their efforts and results will make the US Soccer Federation seem emasculated to the other federations around the world.

"If we start paying our women equally, then what is the English FA going to say about us?" stated Mr. Gulati. "We can't be having Chile and Argentina seeing us like this. I mean, if we start paying women equally, the next thing you know they are going to have the right to vote. If the US Men would just.... you know... be better... we would be able to brush off the women's claim much easier. It's really all the Men's team fault. Let's be honest here, the USSF are heavily interested in bidding for the 2026 World Cup. Do you know how much the bribes are going to cost to get that? EXACTLY the amount the USWNT are asking us to pay them. So you get one item. Equal Pay for Equal Play or the 2026 World Cup."

While the US Soccer Federation bashed the players, they also reached out to fans that had signs in support of the USWNT quest for equal pay as the USSF stated, "The US Soccer Federation would like to thank you for your opinion, signs, banners and messages, but remind you that young women should be seen but not heard. Based on current financial rules, your opinion is worth about 1/10th the value of Sunil Gulati and we would like to keep it that way. Thanks and keep buying tickets!"

TNN Style And Brand Watch: Trending UP For April!! Cutting Media Credentials

HI FRIENDS, The Nutmeg News style editor, man about town and resident brand expert Stephen Harrow here to tell you about the trends in Men's soccer in the United States for 2016.

Well, kick this thing right off with the #1 trend of April!

Read the article Here ---> http://www.postandcourier.com/article/20160407/PC20/160409527#.VwbiCXBPOCs.twitter 

CUTTING MEDIA CREDENTIALS:

First DC United took the bold step of cutting the media credentials of a fan podcast after it was revealed *SHOCKER* that the podcast host's wife had season tickets.

THEN

The Charleston Battery revoked the press credentials of the Post And Courier newspaper in Charleston for having the daring to have a business reporter question the team on a lawsuit filed against team owner Eric Bowman

This upward trend towards absolute control of media is a vital one according to brand expert Leopold Digrasse, a resident brand expert for the University of Southern Toledo in Miami's adjunct campus on Puerto Rico.

"What we see here are teams and organizations incapable of being able to handle criticism, as well as wanting to have total control over the narrative that is spun about them. It's a fantastic way to simultaneously piss of whatever fans are actually paying attention to you while simultaneously eliminating the only coverage you were getting, positive or negative, anyway,."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the Charleston Battery un-follow our twitter account.

Major League Soccer Introduces New League Loyalty Oath And Home Surveillance Program

NEW YORK - In a stunning move, Major League Soccer today announced a new league loyalty oath and home surveillance program called "MLS Cares".

The Nutmeg News spoke to Major League Soccer Security boss Ray Whitworth about the new program and he had the following to say.

"We here with Major League Soccer want our fans to be safe. More importantly than that we want the hordes of fans that attend our games to FEEL safe. We have already implemented a sharp increase in the number of external and internal stadium video recording system, but our new program MLS CARES, will allow us to take that surveillance even further. 

If you agree to let the league video tape you at all times, you will receive a 10% coupon for concessions in the stadium of your choice. You will be required to take a league loyalty oath that states, 'Praise Security. Praise TSA. Praise the League. All hail the mighty invasive pat down that lifts our underwire and tries to find our flask. I will never raise arms against the league. I will never raise flares against the league. I will never raise smoke against the league. No banner shall criticize, no two-stick shall profane. In all matters, the judgment of the league is best, final and appropriate.' It's important for our new middle class fans to feel safe, even if they are surrounded by hoards of fans just waiting to do a Green Street and smash their faces with pint glasses. I've seen it all before, y'know. Elijah Wood. West Ham. I was there. It was awful. The United States and that other country are just a festering suckhole of rebellious thought that must be tamed."

Reportedly, the MLS Cares program will allow full time 24x7 monitoring from your house to your stadium via CCTV in your bedroom, living room and bathroom, and drone coverage from the sky when you leave. This will allow the league to finally feel safe about supporters and increase the adaptation of everyone to new security measures that will reportedly eventually include taking off all your clothes, spreading your cheeks and showing whether or not you have any hidden contraband up there.

The Nutmeg News will have more on the Whitworth campaign towards a secure and non-violent Major League Soccer.

Sporting Kansas City, The 1992 Dream Team, And A Block Of Cheddar Cheese - More Similar Than You Think!

Sporting Kansas City enter as favorites to win against Red Bull New York in New York on Saturday. The 1992 Dream Team entered as favorites to win against Lithuania . A block of Cheddar Cheese enters as a favorite to be grated on your Tacos.

• As this format was so  expertly explored by Sports Illustrated, the Nutmeg News will now show you all the ways in which Sporting Kansas City, the 1992 Dream Team and a block of Cheddar Cheese are more similar than you think!

HISTORIC STREAKS

2012 saw Sporting Kansas City start the season with seven straight victories, setting the club's all-time record for longest regular season winning streak in regulation at nine games

The 1992 Dream Team never lost a game on the way to the 1992 gold medal.

The block of yellow Cheddar Cheese that you found in your trunk that you accidentally left when you went to your friend Mark's party night was so melted that it left marks all over your corduroy pants.  QUELLE DAMAGE, JIMBO

STAR POWER

Sporting Kansas City glitter with Beny Feilhaber, Dom Dwyer, Roger Espinoza, Graham Zusi, and Matt Besler

The 1992 Dream Team sparkled (see what we did there) with Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson,  Karl Malone, Patrick Ewing, Larry Bird, and Christian Laettner

Trader Joe's X-tra Sharp Cheddar Cheese, Great Lakes Sharp Cheddar Cheese, Cracker Barrel Sharp Cheddar Cheese, Tillamook Vintage White Cheddar Cheese, Cabot Extra Sharp Cheddar Cheese, need we say more?

STYLE OF PLAY

Sporting Kansas City relentlessly press and play an up tempo game designed to make their opponents feel uncomfortable.

The 1992 Dream Team relentlessly press and play an up tempo game designed to make their opponents feel uncomfortable other than the simple fact that they were all professionals and better than literally everyone else on the court

The 2004 Vintage Kraft Cheddar Cheese slice that has been sitting in your buddies fridge for 12 years will relentlessly press and play an up temp game with your colon when you feel adventurous enough to try it on a pimento loaf sandwich that you whipped up because you were hungry.

D.C. United Fan Podcast Has Credentials Revoked For Being Fans

WASINGTON - The men that run D.C United Podcast YEWnited reportedly had their credentials to access the team, training and press box pulled after the front office complained that hosts of the low rated podcast were actually fans of the team with season tickets.

From BlackandRedUnited.com

We don't know what it is, but it seems important.

"They have season tickets? Fuck that! We don't need fans, here." stated DC United director of Communication Dave Reynolds. "What we need are ignorant laypeople who just want to ask inane questions and not rock the boat."

The front office for D.C. United stated that they were in the process of reviewing their policy for giving out media credentials when they realized that they had actually given too many fans access to the team.

"It's just a matter of time before a fan stumbles on something we don't want them to know. I don't know, maybe a secret training regiment or some kind of problem with an injury. We don't need educated fans, we don't need people learning things here, and we don't need podcasts that cater to 20's of people every day breaking news to the 5 interested listeners they have that aren't their mom and dad or their significant other," stated Mr Reynolds.

The Nutmeg News spoke with Caspar Hanover and Grant Kawaii, hosts of YEWnited, about the loss of their credentials and they had the following to say.

"We both think the whole thing is pretty hilarious, but as far as we know, no one else is having their credentials pulled. It's pretty crazy to think the team actually cares about shutting down our access, but hey maybe they didn't want our dozens of fans to listen to us talk about the relatively uninteresting things that happened at training."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as D.C. United pulls the credentials that The Nutmeg News doesn't have in the first place.

POLL: Five Games Into The MLS Season - PANIC?

Major League Soccer Set To Retroactively Ban Supporters For Indecent Acts

A press release handed down today from Ray Whitworth, director of Major League Soccer security, has indicated that Major League Soccer is retroactively banning a number of supporters in Major League Soccer for acts that have happened out of the stadium including rowdiness, lewd behavior, drunkenness, listening to illicit music, eating cured meats, flares, smoke, smoking, and not calling their mother on Mothers Day.

The Nutmeg News spoke to Mr Whitworth and he had the following to say, "In an effort at curtailing future problems in the stadium, we have decided to police the activities that happen outside the stadium. We have a right to know if the supporters that attend our games are watching Partizan games, or Hajduk Split youtube videos, or the Sound Of Music but not the Julie Andrews version, or if they are making banners that we don't like, or setting off smoke a few blocks from the stadium. All of these may seem like petty crimes that a league shouldn't concern itself with, but it is important for us as an entity to make certain that we stop all of this before it even enters our stadium."

The press release from Mr Whitworth and Major League Soccer contains names that we have redacted for privacy, however the impact is absolute. They will be banned for activities that occurred outside the stadium, re-banned for activities that happened inside the stadium that they weren't contrite enough about the first time, or banned for activities that they might do in the future. 

According to sources with the league, Major League Soccer wants to ensure that it controls the gameday experience from the time a supporter wakes up in the morning to the time that they step through the bag search line to the pat down line, into the line for the metal detector, and then are randomly selected for the invasive search and then enter the stadium to buy their $11 Budweiser.

Aston Villa's Spectacle Of Desperation Energizes Promotion And Relegation Supporter

Tallahassee, FL - Promotion and Relegation supporter and sometime soccer fan David Carliso stated that Aston Villa's spectacle of desperation was an re-energizing moment in his quixotic quest to bring Promotion and Relegation to the United States.

This could be US!

"We can do this!" stated Mr. Carliso to his 46 friends on Twitter. "Just imagine, it could be the Chicago Fire that are not only playing horrifyingly bad soccer, but also having their fans having a nauseatingly painful, slow, permeating realization that they not only have terrible ownership but that they are also watching their team implode while free falling into the Championship and beyond. Think of the possibilities. Portland would likely be back in the USL because of their 2012 season, never would have attracted Caleb Porter to the team, and wouldn't have won the 2015 Championship. Toronto would likely still be in the USL because of 2012, Giovinco would probably be with Racing Santander or somewhere exotic. Chicago would likely be in the NPSL at this rate. Columbus is in the position of freefall, Miami could be next! Think about how great it would be to have all the Cascadia teams back in the USL or even the NPSL." 

While some would consider the delight of Mr. Carliso as ghoulish, he sees exactly the opposite. "Promotion and Relegation would allow horrifyingly bad teams, such as Aston Villa or Chicago or Columbus this season to suffer the far reaching consequences of playing bad. You can see it with Aston Villa who have not picked up their game at all and have essentially conceded the rest of their season since about November. That's the magic of relegation, the slow plunging dagger into the hearts of others who have to watch their team slowly be picked apart like rooting for Vultures to devour carrion. It's just utterly entrancing."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Mr. Carliso utilizes Villa fans agony as fuel for his advocacy. 

¿Quién fue el Latino de la Jornada 5 de Futbol MLS? VOTA AHORA

Red Card Wins Major League Soccer Player Of The Week

NEW YORK - Major League Soccer announced that the player of the week for the fifth week of the season would be Red Card, stating their obvious contribution to the games this week and their overall play.

Player of the GAME, Player of the WEEK!

With Red Card featuring as the star in several matches over the weekend, their contributions were unparalleled as observers and league officials state that Red Card was everywhere.

"Red Card was amazing. It didn't matter what position that you started them in, or where they were given, they did the job and really dominated the players they were against," stated MLS Armchair Analyst Matt Doyle.

The Nutmeg News spoke to Red Card and they had the following to say, "It was a tough game, but I give all glory to God and Jair Marrufo. They had the guts to put me in the game and I just had to execute. I know that when I came on that I changed the game and I'm just one card trying to make a difference. I want to also thank Ismail Elfath and Silviu Petrescu for believing in me. We did it! We really did it. We climbed that mountain top!"

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Red Card has a season to remember.

NASL kicks off 2016 season showing signs of slow growth

This Article Was Part Of The April 1st Collection on The Nutmeg News

The North American Soccer League formally kicks off their 7th year on Saturday with the Carolina Railhawks taking on Minnesota United at 3:00 pm EDT as the league shows signs of slow growth. With a restructuring of the league in terms of teams and the upcoming loss of Minnesota United to Major League Soccer, the NASL worked on creating new markets while expanding the reach of their product.

A new television deal that broadcasts games on Be-IN Sports and CBS Sports (starting in the fall for this network) as well as the continuation of the league broadcasts on ESPN3 and One World Sport allow fans and casual observers more opportunity than before to catch games, while a very slow expansion has, potentially, opened up additional markets around North America.

While there are some concerns about whether or not the markets that have started are going to be long term liabilities or viable, the NASL's ability to market and spend for players with groups like Rayo OKC give an interesting complexion to the upcoming spring season. Certainly, the ability for clubs to control the players they have coming into the team allows more autonomy and better chance of seeing individual styles flourish in the NASL. However, the league must still fight preconceptions about the level and style of play.

Two of the the NASL's major continued issues are the broadcasting of their games (something that they very clearly worked upon for 2016), and their facilities with most teams utilizing non-soccer specific stadiums. Their stadium problem is likely going to remain a major concern going forward for some time. Until the league can bring in and retain deep pocketed and well connected ownership groups, the look of high school football fields and substandard facilities will continue to detract from the overall presentation of the league. 

The divestment of ownership by Traffic of any controlling interests in the teams in the NASL is a major victory for both the NASL and soccer fans in North America. With the organization now out of Carolina, the league can move away from any kind of collaboration with the ethically aloof company. 

The NASL has the potential to grow, but that remains the same issue that they have had since the league started in 2009. The potential for the league to grow and be something as an alternative to Major League Soccer is a major attractant to many, but the infrastructure, play, facilities, and ability to watch the game continue to provide obstacles to adoption.  A strong competitor to Major League Soccer would offer the possibility of both leagues striving to better their product, better how they relate to fans, and challenge how they position themselves in the market. The issue still remains of what the roadmap is for the NASL going forward, the leadership of the league and how well structured they are to grow beyond having teams play at high school football stadiums. 

When:Who:How

SAT 04/02/2016

3:00 pm EDT - CAROLINA RAILHAWKS V MINNESOTA UNITED FC - WAKEMED SOCCER PARK - ESPN3

7:00 PM EDT - FORT LAUDERDALE STRIKERS V MIAMI - FC LOCKHART STADIUM - beIN Sports Connect

7:30 PM EDT - TAMPA BAY ROWDIES V INDY ELEVEN - AL LANG STADIUM - ONEworldsports.com

8:00 PM EDT - RAYO OKC V FC EDMONTON - MILLER STADIUM - ESPN3

SUN 04/03/2016

6:00 PM EDT NEW YORK COSMOS V OTTAWA FURY FC - JAMES M. SHUART STADIUM - ONEworldsports.com

Dad Takes Kids Out For Treat After Soccer Practice

This Article Was Part Of The April 1st Collection on The Nutmeg News

Chattanooga, TN – Following the first community soccer club practice of the year, Chattanooga resident Paul Shultz took his children Trevor and Cynthia (ages 13 and 8, respectively) to the local Dairy Queen.  While the kids were allowed to choose a dilly bar, Shultz went with a Peanut Buster Parfait.

After stating that no cell phones were allowed during their dessert time and that they would have to put them away, Paul asked his to his kids to see how their practices went.

“It was good,” Trevor stated. “My friends Ryan and Paul are on the team again so that’s cool.” 

"We worked on passing the ball and running for each other! IT WAS AMAZING!," stated Cynthia Shultz. 

“Do you guys like your coaches this season?” Shultz asked. “If you have a good coach they can really help you to improve your game." Both kids simply shrugged their shoulders and continued to eat their desserts.

"We have to talk about something important," stated Shultz. "I don't know how to say this so I'm going to be honest with both of you and talk to you both like adults. Ok? With your mom passing away, we don't have the money coming in from her income, and I can't afford to put you both into soccer next year. I know this isn't fair, a lot of things aren't right now, but I can only tell you that I'll make it up to you guys when I can."

Trevor continued to pick at the stem of his popsicle stick while Cynthia sat quiet with her eyes down at the table between them. It seemed like ages before the kids did anything and the silence exposed all the weakness that he felt every time he had to be honest with his kids.

"It'll be ok," said Cynthia. "I don't need to play next year. I'll have more time to play with Bethany."

Mr Shultz knew this was a lie. Cynthia's room was covered in posters of Carli Lloyd, Alex Morgan and Megan Rapinoe. She was obsessed with the game. 

"Ok. Well, um, we will talk about this again if something changes," lied Shultz.

Trevor just looked at his bar and and took a bite, he didn't say anything.

“You know,” Shultz said, “if you really love soccer and really want to play you can do it professionally. Think about it, how cool would it be to get paid to play a sport your whole life? It’s something you’ll have to want, though. And it’s something you’ll have to work hard for, but it’s something you both could do if you really put your minds to it. We can't afford things right now, but it's not always going to be this way.”

Trevor shuffled in his seat and Cynthia put her arms on the table stretching them out.

"It's ok, dad. I know."

The setting sun amplified the air conditioning casting a chill over the table. The kids finished their desert by picking the dried chocolate off the Dilly Bar sticks with their teeth.

“Well, it’s getting late but I wanted to do something special after your first practice.” Shultz said. “I’m excited to come out and watch you guys start playing. When is your first game?”

“A couple weeks maybe? There’s an app that has the calendar for our team. I’ll show you when we get home.” Trevor stated.

“Oh that’s right. I forgot they have the app now. I bet I have it already on my phone.” Shultz replied.

The three then got up, wiped the table a bit with their napkins, placed them in the garbage bins and left to get in their car.

The Nutmeg News will have more as the Chattanooga soccer season gets into full swing.

The reformation of the USL: Competition, sport and the future

This Article Was Part Of The April 1st Collection on The Nutmeg News

The entry of Major League Soccer "B" sides into the United Soccer League (USL) has created a new paradigm for the league and for soccer supporters throughout North America that will only become more pronounced as the seasons continue.

While the creation of affiliate teams is necessary to increase the development of players (specifically for Major League Soccer), the issue with adding "B" sides to a competitive league has lead to bizarre circumstances for a soccer fan. 

While a fan of the Sacramento Republic may be longing for a season championship, his expectations for the league and his team are not the same as someone from Kansas City, who is now looking less towards whether Swope Park Rangers wins and more towards the development of Jimmy Medranda and whether Daniel Salloi is the real deal. 

This ideal of development and the function it can have on a team is a tricky one, because as the results mean less to the Major League Soccer sides that enter affiliate teams in the USL competition, they do expose the idea of the competitive nature of the league. Now, this isn't to say that the affiliate sides from Major League Soccer do not want to win, however the function of an affiliate side isn't to win. The function of an affiliate side is to develop players for the senior team while indoctrinating them into the style, culture, and work expected from a senior team player.

While these general principals are not antithetical to the un-affiliated USL side, it does show the divide between teams set up to be a functioning local professional unaffiliated team and one that is in the service of growing players for an MLS side. This isn't to say that the USL is a sham league, moreso that the USL is complex in a way that a league hasn't been before in the United States and Canada. 

The USL has, seemingly, now staked its claim on being a tier step towards a career in professional soccer and creator of talent. Slowly but surely (even before the MLS affiliate creation) the USL attempted to reshape itself into a league that creates careers.

This creation of career is no longer just the sole domain of the player, but now managers as well are attempting to utilize the USL as a springboard. Marc Dos Santos, just a few months removed from taking the Ottawa Fury to the NASL championship game against the New York Cosmos, resigned his position with the Fury to take a development job at Swope Park Rangers. This move, at one point, would likely be considered a backwards career choice and it may still be in many circles. However it is seen, it now seems that Dos Santos is utilizing the tie of Swope Park Rangers to Sporting Kansas City as a way to increase his standing within North American soccer circles in order to offer his name up to Major League Soccer in the future.

With the formula having shifted in the USL from players on their last legs, or those on the outskirts of the soccer wasteland, or those on their last chance at a career to promising rookies, developmental squads or academy kids that fell out of favor with their international team, this has given league games a different perspective. Now turning into a USL game on youtube means a viewer may get a chance to watch a future player for their senior squad play his first games.

The reformation of the USL is still ongoing, but the results are interesting and well worth tracking going forward. 

Despite acknowledged bribes and corruption, FIFA persists with Qatari World Cup

This Article Was Part Of The April 1st Collection on The Nutmeg News

With the 2022 World Cup in Qatar only six years away, more information from Amnesty International was released recently showing the horrifying working conditions for many of the people employed to build the stadiums and grounds for the 2022 FIFA World Cup.

Please Read the Amnesty International article here:  Abuse Of World Cup Workers Exposed 

As well as the full report here: Amnesty International Document on FIFA 2022 World Cup 

From the CNN report on Amnesty International and the FIFA World Cup 

http://edition.cnn.com/2016/03/30/football/fifa-world-cup-qatar-migrant-worker-abuse-amnesty-international/

Despite the acknowledged bribes, the human rights abuses, the money laundering, and the ethical breaches, FIFA appears to still be forging on towards a Qatar world cup that could only be called one of the great catastrophes in modern football.

The fact that the international organization has turned a blind eye to the cruelty of the enslavement and mistreatment of the migrant workers in Qatar has only increased the ill repute and infamy that has been heaped upon the organization in the wake of the corruption and bribery scandals of Sepp Blatter, Jack Warner, Michel Plantini, and seemingly everyone involved in football on an international scale in the past 10 years.

Yet, despite all this, there is no indication that this condition will force a change of venue for FIFA. Even now, the agency seems to be steamrolling towards a World Cup in 2022 that is being built on the back, life and even deaths of the workers that currently are creating a place for socially awkward Germans and Italian football fans to look for an allowed beer garden.

From Amnesty International

Sadly, likely none of this information will stop many fans from making the trip to Qatar, as the modern fan of the international game will find an excuse to remove the idea of what created the 2022 world cup from their mind. Despite this cynicism, the fan must stand up against the abuse of workers. This especially includes organized groups of fans booking travel. Their money, if spent, will go directly towards the perpetuation of the abuse of these workers. The onus is, as well, on sponsors like Adidas and Coca-Cola to stand against the abuses and call for a change.

This, however, could be called trying to close the barn after the horse has already left. Thousands of people have already died to build the 2022 World Cup. FIFA have known about these human rights abuses for over 5 years and have done nothing. They will likely continue to do nothing.

Formation Drift and NYCFC: Will Vieira Stick Or Move

This Article Was Part Of The April 1st Collection on The Nutmeg News

Starting this season with a new manager in Patrick Vieira, New York City FC (NYCFC) launched an attempt at running a formation not typically seen in Major League Soccer.

Depending upon how you want to count the midfielders, NYC FC have run out a 3-2-4-1 or a 3-5-1 or as NYCFC calls it a 3-2-2-3, and so far the reviews of the system can only be said to be mixed.  While New York City Football Club started off the season with 4-3 win on the road in Chicago, their next two games were a draw against Toronto and a loss at home to Orlando City before playing the Revolution to a 1-1 draw at home.

With the loss at Orlando City we can see the fragility of running the 3-2-2-3/3-2-4-1 with Pirlo and Federico Bravo covering the back three. The issue here is one of the size of the field, combined with the compression of offense to defense and who is covering the zones on the field in transition. As with most teams that play a 3 man back line, the NYCFC defensive formation and defensive coverage varies depending upon how they are setting up to the oncoming attack.

As NYCFC return to defense with Tony Taylor caught up field playing to stretch and Mix Diskerud cutting inside to be the playmaker, the ability to defend the left side of the field is often left to the combination of 36 year old Andrea Pirlo and 21 year old Ronald Matarrita.

As indicated here on the Cyle Larin goal against NYCFC in the 1-0 loss at home...

Caught in transition, NYCFC attempts to get numbers behind the ball, but Pirlo ends up looking like he is trying to defend the ball out left and is beaten to the end line, the ball is sent in and horrifying defending by Josh Saunders and the NYCFC defense ends up with the ball in the net for Cyle Larin. 

Because of the size of the Yankee Stadium field, Vieira uses the ideal of a 3-2-2-3 formation and a press in an attempt to dictate the offensive play as well as interrupting the opposing team, but the issue here is one of defensive solidarity. The league has hardly suffered teams without a defensive identity and currently the NYCFC team defense appears to hinge on whether or not a 36 year old 5 foot 9 Italian can cover at the holding midfielder and fullback position when the offense is caught up field. Vieira will, potentially, have to eventually make a choice about whether he can allow the wing back play to either regress and turn his 3-2-2-3 into the de-facto defensive 5-4-1, or whether playing an attempted regimented 3-2-2-3 is opening up his side to a league in which the ability to transition athletically from one end to the end happens to be a staple of the league.

Major League Soccer is still in the infancy of its tactical nous, but the league has always had a penchant for game stretching players who lack the ability of a critical final touch, people like Dominic Oduro, Robbie Findley, Deshorn Brown, Darren Mattocks or even a player like Steve Zakuani are all players who thrive (or thrived) on getting behind the defense (and also having questionable finishing skill). Now, the issue is whether or not NYCFC has the ability to actually get enough defensive solidarity from the triangle of players they rotate through Pirlo, Mataritta, Bravo, Diskerud, Taylor to cover the fact that Major League Soccer tends to build low cost speed and counter attack teams that seem directly capable of causing NYCFC grief at their space of weakness.  If Pirlo is getting constantly pulled out to defend, the onus falls on Bravo to cover the middle of the field, while the lineup is constantly in flux. You don't buy Pirlo to play emergency fullback.

The idea of playing a "Genius" system in Major League Soccer is so often undone by both the current available talent and the inability to buy the needed talent to run these formations, as well as the grind of the season and methodology of other coaches. It remains to be seen if Vieira can buck the trend and burst forward with success at running a 3-2-2-3 system that seems to potentially expose the weaknesses of his team to some of the strengths that Major League Soccer has.

In the end, the question remains how long will Vieira suffer his lineup before he becomes pragmatic?

Uninformed Man Has Some Comments To Make About US Women Equality Campaign

INTERNET - An uninformed man reportedly has some comments to make about the campaign of the United States women towards equal pay.

"LET ME EXPLAIN TO YOU WHY THEY ARE WRONG," Mr David Barrows stated as he began typing a 10 bullet point comment online about how these womens are just totally wrong. 

Despite having done absolutely zero research on the topic, the availability of the internet as his bullhorn has allowed Mr Barrows to comment on a number of topics that he has no actual knowledge about including reproductive rights, women's soccer, women's basketball and the emasculation of men by a secret cabal of hollow earth Amazonian women who look like his ex-wife Deborah.

"This is just another example of why the patriarchy is in decline," stated Mr Barrows to The Nutmeg News on Thursday morning. "Women don't deserve to be paid commensurate with what they earn. Have you ever seen Women's basketball? I haven't but I heard it is just awful. No one cares about women's sports, ever. I make it a point to tell everyone that in every single newspaper column comment section that has reported on this debacle. Despite having not looked any of this information up I'm sure that the men's version of whatever they are complaining about brings in more money. I'm dead certain of that."

Mr Barrows ensured that he covered the full spectrum of commenting including his twitter account, comments on newspaper sites and Facebook. 

"The people must know! Women shouldn't make more money than I make. Their opinion of this somehow threatens something of mine directly, despite me not getting any money from the US Soccer Federation nor being able to articulate exactly why this infuriates me so much. This is about my opinion meaning a lot because I'm a white guy with a lot of time on his hands."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Mr Barrows starts a successful subreddit to complain about Women soccer players in the United States requesting equal money to men.

US Soccer Federation Under Fire For Behavior At Press Conference

CHICAGO - After calling a press conference to speak about the recent wage discrimination complaint filed by five United States players against the US Soccer Federation, Sunil Gulati was reportedly criticized for his bizarre behavior and dress as he came to answer questions.

Hey baby, you know that Sunny G is going to take care of you!

Showing up to the press conference in a purple blazer with a pimp cane, diamond rings, a gold dollar bill pendant and a diamond encrusted 96 medallion made custom for Mr Gulati in reference to the 1996 Women's Olympic Gold Medal, Sunil Gulati spoke to a collection of shocked reporters.

"Baby, I just want to say that you know Sunny G is good for the money," stated Gulati to the collected journalists. "All these ladies need to do is bring in the income, and we decide how to spend it. They better bring in that paper, though."

Mr Gulati then instructed an assistant to turn on Jay Z's "Big Pimpin" as he finished out his interview session.

"Yes, they bring in the money, but they don't know how to spend it. I can't trust a 23 year old woman with money. Shit, I can barely trust Geoff Cameron with a 50% off Nike pass. Those women would just run out and spend it on stuff like real grass or a decent food stipend or appropriate pay for appropriate work or a sexy foam party. They don't need real grass. What they need is for someone with a watchful eye to let them know what they need and to take care of all that money. They don't know how hard it is to be the Federation. WE gotta keep the regulators out of their business, the G-men, the feds, the FIFA. We got people to pay off and we got money to sink into Sum. You know how hard it is to take care of Sum? It's hard. It's totes hard. Let me tell you, It's hard out there for a president."

Reportedly, Mr Gulati then opened up a 1958 Chateau Latour and poured it into a mug with a diamond encrusted logo that stated PREZ on the side.

"All I'm saying is, they bring in the money and we show them the honey, and by the honey I mean uneven and sand filled artificial turf on the 185th friendly since the world cup ended for a mostly filled stadium against a team they will kill 6-0 and then they will be required to attend a 3 hr autograph session afterward."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this when Sunny G calls his next press conference.