World Cup 2026 Draw To Feature Literal Group Of Death

UNITED STATES - Sources indicate that the 2026 World Cup Draw will feature a literal group of death as the United States government has stated, “unwelcome teams with subhuman fans who are not welcome will be placed in the group of literal death and dealt with by drone.”

Those in the know seem to indicate that the United States is advocating that Haiti, Curacao, Iran, and Cape Verde be considered for the Literal Group Of Death.

“We will not take in any drug dealers and leaches on the state,” stated on white supremacist employed by the White House. “Those who come here to take advantage of us thinking that soccer will save them are going to find out a very different result.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the Department Of War authorizes a drone strike on the boat of any FIFA official who disagrees.