US Legends Assure Travelling Soccer Fans That World Cup 2026 Will Be Safe As Long As You Don't Look Mexican, Aren't Too Ethnic, Aren't From Haiti And Are Very Wealthy

UNITED STATES - A collection of United States legends tasked by the US Soccer Federation and President Donald Trump stated that World Cup 2026 will be safe for travelling fans as long as you don’t look Mexican, aren’t too ethnic, aren’t from Haiti and are very wealthy.

“The United States is a welcoming cultural melting pot for anyone who has a net worth over 2 to 3 million dollars,” stated Alexi Lalas in a new promotional spot airing on European television stations. “If you fit the parameters of being wealthy and you don’t look Mexican, and you aren’t from Haiti, and you aren’t too ethnic…. we welcome you to World Cup 2026.”

Sources say that the effort to show that the United States was a welcoming country was directly targeted at the recent negative publicity of the United States forcibly incarcerating and deporting anyone who looks Mexican, is poor, or just might be questionably ethnic enough for being detained before they put you back on a rural road 2 miles from the city center and keep the cash that was in your wallet.

“World Cup 2026 is going to be a blast, provided you meet the qualifications for entry and can afford to travel and stay here and purchase the visas and purchase the unaffordable tickets and don’t get picked up by ICE and get disappeared somewhere,” stated one US Soccer representative.

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as US Soccer increases their promotions.