Des Moines, IA - Larry Henderson, a passionate fan of the Des Moines Victory AC Sporting Club, stated privately that he is really regretting his choice of the Twitter handle @BongHitzForGoalz as he announced his candidacy for the available president position for the Corn State Ultras supporters group.
“If I knew that I was going to be doing this seven years ago, I likely would’ve picked something less… um……….. controversial?” stated Henderson to The Nutmeg News.
Supporters within the Corn State Ultras admitted that the handle of BongHitzForGoalz polarized opinions on Henderson in both directions as the fans attempted to decide whether they wanted him to represent the group.
“I personally don’t care if someone DOES smoke … um… the marijuana,” stated Corn State Ultras member Joshua West. “But, honestly… we need a professional perspective and a professional presence going forward and I ask myself whether BongHitzForGoalz will effectively be able to communicate our positions. Everyone would be a lot more comfortable if he just started drinking a lot more, if I’m going to be completely honest.”
Straight Edge subgroup DeX Moines Deny Lads, whose total official membership was announced as 3, stated that they were absolutely opposed to candidacy of Henderson as they released a statement which proclaimed, “NO SIRRENDOR,” and contained a picture of their hands in a circle with the Straight Edge X drawn in Sharpie upon them.
For his part, Henderson indicates that he understands the reluctance of some fans within the supporters group, but he states that he can’t really change his account until after the election as everyone in the community knows him, now, as @BongHitzForGoalz.
“I get it, I really do, and I mostly don’t entirely do bong hits anymore after a goal,” stated Henderson. “Sometimes I like to do a light vape, smoke a portion of a pre-roll, or perhaps I just enjoy settling into a nice edible ride. That shouldn’t really have any bearing on my ability to be the supporters group president. I’ve already made the announcement that I plan on changing my account to @LhenSoccer if I win.”
When asked if he will change handle should he lose the election, Henderson stated that he would as, “I’m creating a locked shadow account for my friends with the handle of @DabsForRedCardz.”
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Henderson wins the election in a landslide despite having exactly zero conversations about anything to do with the Supporters Group for the last four months.
EDITORS NOTE: After publication of this piece, Mr Henderson stated to our reporter that he decided to change his twitter handle.