US Soccer Federation Under Fire For Behavior At Press Conference

CHICAGO - After calling a press conference to speak about the recent wage discrimination complaint filed by five United States players against the US Soccer Federation, Sunil Gulati was reportedly criticized for his bizarre behavior and dress as he came to answer questions.

 Hey baby, you know that Sunny G is going to take care of you!

Hey baby, you know that Sunny G is going to take care of you!

Showing up to the press conference in a purple blazer with a pimp cane, diamond rings, a gold dollar bill pendant and a diamond encrusted 96 medallion made custom for Mr Gulati in reference to the 1996 Women's Olympic Gold Medal, Sunil Gulati spoke to a collection of shocked reporters.

"Baby, I just want to say that you know Sunny G is good for the money," stated Gulati to the collected journalists. "All these ladies need to do is bring in the income, and we decide how to spend it. They better bring in that paper, though."

Mr Gulati then instructed an assistant to turn on Jay Z's "Big Pimpin" as he finished out his interview session.

"Yes, they bring in the money, but they don't know how to spend it. I can't trust a 23 year old woman with money. Shit, I can barely trust Geoff Cameron with a 50% off Nike pass. Those women would just run out and spend it on stuff like real grass or a decent food stipend or appropriate pay for appropriate work or a sexy foam party. They don't need real grass. What they need is for someone with a watchful eye to let them know what they need and to take care of all that money. They don't know how hard it is to be the Federation. WE gotta keep the regulators out of their business, the G-men, the feds, the FIFA. We got people to pay off and we got money to sink into Sum. You know how hard it is to take care of Sum? It's hard. It's totes hard. Let me tell you, It's hard out there for a president."

Reportedly, Mr Gulati then opened up a 1958 Chateau Latour and poured it into a mug with a diamond encrusted logo that stated PREZ on the side.

"All I'm saying is, they bring in the money and we show them the honey, and by the honey I mean uneven and sand filled artificial turf on the 185th friendly since the world cup ended for a mostly filled stadium against a team they will kill 6-0 and then they will be required to attend a 3 hr autograph session afterward."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this when Sunny G calls his next press conference.