Pensive Joe Biden Debates Pulling United States Out Of CONCACAF Champions League After Soccer Nation-Building Fails

WASHINGTON - Stating, "We can't keep repeating the mistakes of the past," a pensive Joe Biden is reportedly considering pulling all United States infrastructure out of the CONCACAF Champions League.

“The soccer nation-building has failed,” stated the President according to insider sources. “There’s nothing low grade or low risk or low cost about any CONCACAF game. It’s time to end the participation of our forces in the CONCACAF Champions League.”

The President indicated that he believed that the evacuation of the Philadelphia Union from the 2021 CONCACAF Champions League was a, “major success,” despite the failures involved even as Liga MX teams celebrated their “independence” from MLS teams with luke warm indifference.

"We cannot abandon our translators and possible future USMNT players in Guatemala and Mexico," stated one anonymous USSF source. "This is madness! We just need to pump in some more money to stabilize this soccer nation! All we need is more time and a couple trillion more dollars spent on converting our nations basketball and football players into soccer players in order to make this happen. Trust me, Soccer will become the DOMINANT force in US Sports. I know we’ve been saying this for nearly a hundred years, but we just need more money and another hundred years and we will get there."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this when MLS teams get knocked out of the 2022 CONCACAF Champions League.

Detroit City Fan Launches Against Modern Connect Four Campaign

Detroit, MI - Detroit City fan Harvey Lawrence took to the internet, today, to announce his Against Modern Connect Four campaign as he lambasted the team for participating in a electronic version of the game that, “disenfranchises the common connect four player who wants a fully tactile and accessible experience.”

According to Lawrence, “MLS teams do online Connect Four, Not my club #againstmodernconnectfour,” as he slammed the team for participating in an online gaming scheme that, “has no connection to its local roots.”

“I want to see connect four courts built locally here in the Detroit area instead of just creating connect four online where only those of us that are available to play in the online space must compete. I believe in an open system of connect four that allows all people across the United States to play connect four.”

For his part, Lawrence created an esoteric pin set displaying his AMC4 branding to reference his Against Modern Connect Four campaign as he acknowledged that his stance has some holes.

“Yes, I am aware that by participating in society at large and utilizing Twitter to get out my message that I’m also participating in the very segment of society that I detest, but this is the best way I can get out my messaging and I’m paying for a Connect Four credit to subsidize my usage of Twitter in this way.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the Connect Four Ultras display their moving Red Piece protest T.I.F.O

Lost FIFA Officials Ask Waze For Directions To Boston Soccer Stadium From Foxborough

Foxborough, MA - Lost FIFA officials touring potential World Cup stadium locations asked GPS navigation app Waze for directions to the Boston Soccer Stadium as they toured Gillette Stadium in Foxborough.

“This is very nice, but is there a location in Boston,” asked FIFA Official Gianni Esfalda.

With Robert Kraft’s assistant giving a non-committal grunt, as he showed the FIFA officials around the New England Patriot’s locker room, the FIFA officials took to the internet and Waze to find their way into the city center.

“I was imagining less of abandoned space ship sitting in the middle of nowhere vibe,” stated Esfalda. “More of a city infrastructure and place of fans to eat and drink and congregate.”

With Kraft’s assistant pointing out Capriotti’s Sandwich Shop and the Scorpion Bar at Patriot Place, the officials asked if there was a way they could see the city before they asked Siri if there was somewhere else that was at all, “cool and had something to do with soccer,” in the area.

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the FIFA officials change their mind after allegedly receiving the gifts to encourage their decision.

Washington Spirit Sign COVID-19 For Midfield Depth

WASHINGTON - The Washington Spirit, today, announced that they signed COVID-19 for midfield depth pending a team physical.

“We are tired of fighting the virus when the thing we should be doing is signing the virus to a long term contract,” stated Washington Sprit owner Steve Baldwin. "Our players have already shown that they can deal with COVID-19 in the locker room so we don’t expect this move to cause any disruption.”

New Spirit President Ben Olsen indicated that he was excited with the prospect as he stated, “COVID-19 can play any position while being on the attack and the defense. It is the epitome of a modern box to box player and we expect to see additional games with COVID-19 leading the line.”

Sources indicate that some Spirit players are upset that they may lose game time to COVID-19, however their concerns went unheard as the Spirit forged ahead with the acquisition of the virus.

The Nutmeg News will have more as the Spirit release a limited edition COVID-19 kit that celebrates their league first forfeit.

FC Dallas Announce Mountain Dew Drone Strike Kiss Cam At 9-11 Game

Dallas, TX - FC Dallas, today, announced that their upcoming 9-11 game against the San Jose Earthquakes would feature $9.11 tickets and the debut of their Mountain Dew Drone Strike Kiss Cam.

“Get caught unawares at the next game,” stated Dan Hunt, owner of FC Dallas. “Our drone operators are on the hunt and we are looking for the next target to strike! It could be you!”

Sources indicate that the Mountain Drew Drone Strike may target groups of schoolchildren and journalists in order to warm up the crowd before finding amorous couples in search of a lonely place to neck.

“You can buy high resolution photos of the drone strike at our Avoid The Noid First Responders Doritos Cool Ranch Fund Raiser Photo Booth,” stated Hunt. “And don’t forget to take a picture with our authentic life size replica Mission Accomplished banner, before the game begins.”

Fans were also encouraged to visit the concourse at half time to buy the new promotional "Burritos of Mass Destruction" but as of this writing, no fans or journalists were successful in finding them.

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Dan Hunt denies any of this took place.

Journalist Refuses To Acknowledge Weston McKennie Rumor Obtained From Unverified Twitter Account Referencing A Reddit Post Describing A Spanish Twitter Thread Collected From Anonymous German Sources

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA - Prominent soccer journalist Steve Candelvoss refused to acknowledge a salacious Weston McKennie rumor that was obtained from an unverified Twitter account that referenced a Reddit post that described a translated Spanish Twitter thread that had information that was collected from anonymous German sources as Candelvoss, clearly in the pocket of the US Soccer cabal, stated that he needed verified 1st hand sources.

“I didn’t spend 5 years at college getting a business degree so I could become a project manager for a stroller manufacturer in order to watch you DRAG SOCCER JOURNALISM INTO DISRIPUTE”

Indicating, “We don’t report unsubstantiated rumors,” Candelvoss clearly was carrying water for US Soccer and allowing them to continue to wallow in mediocrity, according to @AORedWhiteBlueBalls on Twitter.

“CANDELVOSS IS PART OF THE GIANT GLOBAL CONSPIRACY,” ranted @AORedWhiteBlueBalls. “THERE’S MILLIONS OF US THAT WILL REPLACE YOU IF YOU DONT REPORT THE TRUTH.”

For his part, Candelvoss admitted that his sources didn’t give him any information that he could use, yet. However, this wasn’t good enough for the online sleuths who demanded that he take matters into his own hands.

“If it was ME, I would break into his apartment and go through his trash,” stated @AORedWhiteBlueBalls. “I just bought a lock pick kit on Amazon and I’ll be damned if a felony is going to keep me from discovering exactly why Gregg Berhalter and Carlos Cordeiro are actually at fault for all of this.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Candelvoss shows his cowardice by only re-tweeting some other journalists sourced reports about McKennie instead of accosting the player physically with a camera crew and microphone outside a training facility.

Berhalter To Blame For Fan's Erectile Dysfunction

United States - Stating, “BERHALTER IS TO BLAME,” USMNT fan Jacob Stephens used the head coach of the United States Men’s team as the reason why he has been unable to obtain tumescence in recent weeks.

“This is all Gregg Berhalter’s fault,” wrote Stephens on his twitter account @USMNT1776PulisicGunsGod. “It is directly his fault that I no longer can obtain an erection and if he made earlier substitutions then I would again see the growing fruits of my labor.”

Sources indicate that Stephens obtained a moment of flaccid clarity when he realized that the banishment of Weston McKennie happened right as his formerly turgid member dipped south for the winter.

“My member is now just as limp as the USMNT” stated Stephens to our reporter. “It won’t be right until we are the best team in the world as manifest destiny claimed we would be. The only way to return my bald admiral to standing at the prow of my ship is to have the USMNT finally claim their own ship, a Championship.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Stephens blames the media and “noob soccer fans” for his burning and itching sensations.

American Soccer Fans Call Out For Nationwide Intra-League Cup Competition After Exciting Canadian Championship Game

United States Of America - Soccer fans across the country called out for the formation of a nationwide Intra-League cup competition after watching the exciting Canadian Championship game between the Vancouver Whitecaps and Pacific FC.

“We could model it after the Canadian Championship and have teams from different leagues play in it,” stated one soccer fan from El Paso.

“It could be the biggest thing in the United States…. like March Madness but with amateur teams taking on professional teams,” stated a soccer fan from Chicago.

Sources indicate that fans across the nation started a petition to the governing bodies of the game to try to bring them to the table to negotiate for a cup tournament that would showcase all the levels of soccer in the United States.

“Can you imagine the Seattle Sounders having to travel to Madison to take on Forward Madison in front of a packed stadium,” stated one anonymous league source. “It’s BRILLIANT! We could have all of this compressed into a tight time frame like the NCAA basketball tournament! People would tune in to watch the giant killers take on the professional teams in front of their own home crowds!”

For their part, the television networks indicated their tepid interest in the idea with ESPN stating that they had a third tier streaming option that would allow people to view 39% of the games if they also sign up for a $400 television service that live streams Skip Bayless into their home at all times.

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the Herbalife Challenge Cup kicks off in 2045 on the Hollister Channel, brought to you by Crackel.

Vancouver Whitecaps Reach Out To Pacific FC Fans Offering Them Years Of Crippling Depression If Fans Trade In A Pacific FC Scarf At Tonight's Game

VANCOUVER - The front office of the Vancouver Whitecaps reached out, on social media, to fans of Pacific FC ahead of their Canadian Championship match with an offer of years of crippling depression if fans trade in a Pacfic FC scarf at tonight’s game.

The Whitecaps lauded their history in Major League Soccer as they offered Pacific FC fans their own customized form of Whitecaps depression.

“Just imagine sitting on a street corner at the end of the year wondering what happened as you join all of your fellow fans in having a virtual beer as you simultaneously try to convince yourself that commuting in from Kelowna wouldn’t be that bad, anyway. With the Whitecaps run of form, you can customize your depression from social issues with the club, player problems or the parade of head coaches and staff bringing a nearly unending run of disappointment and depression that’s followed the Whitecaps from 2011 to 2021.”

Touting their commitment to commitment, the Whitecaps stated that joining the fraternity of fans that watch their games offers Pacific FC fans a chance to be real fans of a real team that very clearly isn’t based upon winning all the time.

“It’s easy to be a fan of the #1 team in the Canadian Premier League,” stated the Whitecaps on social media. “But just imagine being a fan of the 19th team in Major League Soccer. That’s how you build character.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Jake Edwards of Langford considers the option before realizing he already has enough depression stocked up from the last two years.

Skills Challenge To Replace Remainder Of 2021 MLS And Liga MX Regular Season

LOS ANGELES - After a 30 minute conversation in the hallway of the Banc of California Stadium, Major League Soccer and Liga MX came to an accord that would replace the remainder of the 2021 season for both leagues with an intra-league week by week skills challenge.

“Our fans demanded this,” stated MLS Commissioner Don Garber. “And we are known for giving them what they want. The rest of the 2021 season will now be a week by week, team against team skills battle for supremacy in North America.”

The first challenge will come when Pumas travels north to face the red hot New England Revolution.

“We are out here to crack some plates and score some points, yo,” stated a ebullient Bruce Arena. “I’m telling the team to focus on the 10 point corners and the 20 point moving target. It’s a new age in soccer.”

Sources with the Revolution indicate that Arena took them to The Greatest Bar in Boston to play skee ball in preparation for the touch challenge.

“He was yelling at us about preparation and mental fortitude as we tried to aim only for the 100 point holes,” stated one anonymous player. “He just kept yelling that champions aren’t made at 10 points a pop.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the European teams threaten to break off into their own Super Skills Challenge league.

Supporters' Group Celebrates Trailblazing Fan Who Brought Black Friend To Game For Juneteenth

Des Moines, IA - Supporters Group “The Justice Brigade” honored James Lipscott for bringing a black friend to their recent game on Juneteenth as they celebrated having a diverse supporters group.

Artists Rendition

“James really went out on a limb for us and we want to show our appreciation by making him the Fan Of The Month,” stated SG director Frank Williams.

The day was not without tension, as things reportedly were “on edge” when James asked if any other Black fans were at the game, but things cooled down when an SG member pointed out they had a Black player.

Most supporters members forgot the friends name 4 minutes after he arrived, but they remarked that the black friend was very nice and well spoken as they categorically stated that he must have had a good time.

Sources indicated that after a few minutes most supporters went back to reminiscing about 2005, and James reportedly was told “you haven’t put in the work” when he asked what it takes to be a capo, but the SG marked a monumental moment in finally having a Black fan.

“It should be clear to all now that we are an accepting and open supporters group, We have increased our diversity by 10000% now, and it’s because of our welcoming atmosphere,” stated Williams.

The Nutmeg News will have more as the supporters group forgets this ever happened

Area Man Doesn’t Remember Revs Logo But Misses It Already

Secaucus, NJ - Vinny Marino, a plumber from the Secaucus area, stated that he doesn’t really fully remember the New England Revolution logo but that he misses it already.

RIP to the original logo.

“Hey,” stated Marino. “That change is a real bummer. I don’t remember exactly what it looks like but just like my grandpa… you can’t bring it back when its gone no matter how hard you try.”

When asked about his 10 years of comments saying that the logo “looked like a 5 year old drew it” he responded that that was “before it was historic.”

"In fact," stated Mr. Marino. "You could say it was the general... you know... shittiness of the whole thing that made it great. It’s a great shitty. It's like a shitty coal being put into a shitty oyster and turning into a shitty emerald that everyone appreciates, shittly."

When asked what he wanted the logo to look like he only said, “not that.”

And when asked whether he would accept any change to the logo he stated, “Let’s just go changing up our constitution then, right? That’s what’s next? Right? You gonna miss me with that one.”

The Nutmeg News will have more as Marino fondly remembers whatever other team gets rebranded and shakes his head slowly.

Man Kicked Out Of Supporters Group For Not Being Toxic

Orlando, FL - Orlando City SC fan Paxton Hughes was reportedly kicked out of the Orlando City Ultras group for not being toxic enough for the groups online presence as he refused to tweet anything but positive statements after the recent 2-1 loss to Red Bull New York.

“I always KNEW he didn’t care enough to become extremely bitter, jaded, and emotionally devastated while using those feelings to lash out at everyone around him after games,” stated supporters group capo Joe “Code Red” Williams. “We were expecting him to threaten someone with getting beat up the next time we play, or say he hoped that their best player gets injured but this nerd just said good game.”

Friends claim that Hughes has always been an easy going friend who just enjoys getting together with his friends and watching the sports teams he likes play. However, Williams said that this wasn’t good enough for his crew.

“We built this supporters group off passion and repurposed imagery from the ultras-tifo Balkan sub-forum. I want to see people WEEPING after a loss. None of this happy-go-lucky nice shit. If you want to be nice move to Winnepeg and go play curling. This is futbol. This is passion! It’s clear he has no passion, and we can’t have that in this SG.”

Paxton was quoted as saying, “I understand their decision,” which enraged the Orlando City Ultras even further.

The Nutmeg News will have more as the Orlando City Ultras are planning on boycotting social media after Paxton said he still loves the Supporters culture of Orlando

Columbus S.C. Lose First Game In Franchise History

TORONTO - New Major League Soccer (MLS) franchise Columbus SC lost their inaugural game to Toronto FC as they started their debut season with a 2-0 loss on the road.

“We are looking forward to our first game at our temporary home, but the boys are admittedly eager to play a game in their home stadium when it opens,” stated head coach Caleb Porter.

Columbus S.C. will start the season playing at the home of the, now, defunct Columbus Crew, a former professional soccer team in the area.

“We are looking forward to building a team in the area and we hope that fans of the Crew will come out for Columbus S.C.,” stated Columbus S.C. President Tim Bezbatchenko.

The groundshare at the location of the home of the Columbus Crew has not gone on without some acrimony, though, as fans of the recently shelved team protested the new team with vigorous intensity.

“We want the Crew back,” stated one anonymous fan. “And we won’t rest until this other team is gone.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the management of Columbus S.C. insist that they will listen to the fans as long as they agree with everything they say.

Haslam Sports Group Appoint Johnny Manziel To Spearhead Columbus SC Transition

Columbus, OH - In light of the ongoing dissention among the Columbus Crew fanbase over the transition to Columbus SC, Haslam Sports Group (HSG) announced the appointment of former Browns quarterback Johnny Manziel to spearhead the Columbus SC transition.

“We need this situation completed successfully,” stated the Haslam Sports Group. “And we expect Johnny to really help out the team here by helping us ensure that the transition of the name is complete without being intercepted.”

Crew fans were reportedly aghast as rumors swirled that the name change was to be completed regardless of their feelings, however HSG hoped that the Manziel acquisition would smooth over the hurt.

“Johnny can hopefully bring some of that Browns magic with him,” stated Dee Haslam. “We hope that we can really bring the Browns Way to Columbus and allow our fans to truly experience what we’ve been building in Cleveland for the past 9 years.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Manziel gets picked off the day he starts the job.

Robert Kraft States That He's, "Optimistic About A Revolution Stadium," For Record 27th Year

Boston, MA - Robert Kraft, owner of the New England Revolution, stated that he is, "Optimistic about a Revolution stadium," for a record 27th year as the quest to continue stringing along the fans of the local soccer team continued unabated.

THIS time it's true! I GUARANTEE it.

"I'm absolutely optimistic about a Revolution stadium," stated Kraft as he continued to ensure that the team has zero advertising and operating budget. "I looked at some dirt, recently. I liked that dirt. It reminded me that I should be optimistic about a stadium."

Reportedly, Kraft became optimistic about a New England Revolution stadium when he was working on some business for his one true love, the New England Patriots, and realized that he hadn't made a statement in some months about a stadium project that seems unlikely to ever manifest.

"It's been some time since I hinted at something that hasn't happened, and I needed to set the record for the 27th year in a row."

Research shows that Kraft has been optimistic about a Revolution stadium since the team was founded back in 1994 and that his ability to promise and not deliver is somehow reflective of the way in which he runs the Revolution as some kind of absentee father who realizes that his child has good grades and promises to spend more time with them before heading down to the bar to drink with the Patriots fans.

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Kraft remembers to be optimistic about a Revolution stadium in 2022, 2023, 2024 and 2025, as well.

NYCFC Request Opportunity To Play Home Game At Queensboro FC Stadium Prototype

NEW YORK - Sources indicate that New York City Football Club (NYCFC) petitioned for an opportunity to play a home game at the Queensboro FC Stadium prototype that was released today online.

What is this, a stadium for ANTS?!

The Queensboro prototype made out of balsa wood and glue was proposed to be left just outside of Citi Field in the grass somewhere to allow for a “downtown feel”. As for the issue of humans being too big for the prototype, City Group offered complimentary shrink ray services for anyone on the team.

"It's still in the city," stated NYCFC Events Manager Rob Williams. "We need to convince our players to reduce themselves via shrink ray to roughly a half inch or so, but It's IN THE CITY. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?"

Sources with Queensboro FC indicate that they received a request for an NYCFC Home Game as soon as the prototype was revealed on their Twitter account earlier.

"It's really the fans choice,” stated Williams to The Nutmeg News. “Half inch players reduced with a discount shrink ray purchased from a stall on Canal Street playing in a balsa stadium prototype built for a USL team in Queens or playing our home games in..... shudder... New Jersey"

For their part, Red Bull supporters instantly planned to pour Red Bull on the stadium after it is moved, something not covered by insurance. “It’s kind of getting sad, they have been actually doing everything but getting a real stadium. That money buying the shrink ray could have bought off a NYC politician.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as NYCFC reach out to Asbury Park F.C. about their stadium situation and whether they have any available dates.

David Ochoa Kick Accidentally Triggers Rare MLS Dueling Clause

Saint Paul, MN - The Major League Soccer (MLS) Disciplinary Committee were shocked to learn of a very hidden clause in the Collective Bargaining Agreement that states if a goal keeper kicks a ball towards supporters at a certain trajectory and speed, he would have to duel a member of the opposing team with standard Sabre rules.

The seconds of a young man shall not allow him to fight an adversary above sixty years of age, unless this adversary had struck him; and in this case his challenge must be accepted in writing. His refusal to comply with this rule is tantamount to a refusal to give satisfaction, and the young man’s honor is thereby satisfied.

“We have absolutely no idea why this was agreed to in the last negotiation, but a rule is a rule” said MLS Disciplinary Committee member Earl Stevens.

Minnesota United coach Adrian Heath loudly proclaimed his desire to take the duel as he gathered his second for the opportunity.

“VERILY,” stated Heath to The Nutmeg News. “Yon scoundrel hath bitten his thumb at me and I say NAY! I speak the words and I doth ask such Mssr. Ochoa…. Dost thou bite thine thumb at me, and he spake I do bite my thumb and yet I persist and ask again Dost thou bite thine thumb at ME, SIR, and he shows his indication that he doth bite his thumb but not directly at me but I call him a SCOUNDREL AND A VILLAIN.”

Advocates for an open dueling system decried the savage situation as inhumane stating, "this is abhorrent. ANY team should be able to duel a man to the death due to their sporting merit, not their finances. When will the sheeple involved with MLS finally rise up and lead a revolt against the conventional dueling systems to allow all teams from all leagues a chance to spill the blood of a ignoble enemy during a dawn duel with sabres."

Statisticians stated that they show Heath having a below average expected slash and parry, but Heath indicated that he has no love for Expected Stabs.

“The statistician is the jester in the realm of the mad king,” stated Heath as he sharpened his blade against a 15th century whetstone. “And I, but be such a king!”

The Nutmeg News will have more as MLS figures out how to blackout the televised duel in the Minneapolis and Salt Lake area.

Atlanta United Capo Can NOT, In Fact, Hear Chicago Away Fans Sing

Atlanta, GA - Atlanta United Capo Rod “Thunder” Pearson stated that he could NOT, in fact, hear Chicago away fans sing during their recent game as the two MLS sides clashed during the middle of a global pandemic.

“The question was asked and the question was answered,” stated Pearson to The Nutmeg News. “I stopped capoing for like 2 seconds to try to hear if the 2 Fire fans in the rafters of the stadium were singing, and I didn’t hear anything. I had to start everyone’s favorite chant after that. It’s very sad to see such a historic team have fans who can’t even do a 12 hour drive in a pandemic to see their team play. No passion.”

Our sources in the travelling fans section indicate that the group was a mix of two people sat 6 feet apart who travelled from just outside Marietta to view the game after moving there for work from Chicago over 3 years ago.

“Frankly I’m relived to see that there ARENT more travelling fans,” stated Fire fan Chris Dimico. “People need to take this seriously. As a front line worker I’ve been vaccinated for some time, but honestly I’m relived that there isn’t a huge contingent here today.”

None of this information stopped Pearson from his rant as he stated that he wasn’t too surprised at the lack of Fire fans seeing that Fire did not break any attendance records in their return to Soldier Field. “You get a new stadium downtown, every team needs that. And nobody shows up. I saw a lot of empty seats. Just pathetic, very MLS 1.0 of them.”

The Nutmeg News will have more as Pearson takes to Twitter begging Montreal fans to cross international borders in a pandemic to “challenge them” in the next home game

Seattle Sounders Plan To Recycle Tactics For Earth Day

Seattle, WA - Sources with the Seattle Sounders state that the club is planning on recycling tactics from the past few years in an effort to give a more environmentally conscious presence for Earth Day.

“Just because they are old tactics doesn’t mean that we can’t use them,” stated head coach Brian Schmetzer. “Why all you need is a bit of care, a bit of compost and suddenly your old tactics are new again.”

Team sources indicate that great care was taken over the last few years to build a big enough compost pile to consistently recycle the tactics over and over and over again.

“If it isn’t broke, don’t fix it,” stated one team insider. “We are just gonna keep shoveling on all this sweet compost and every year we get a bumper crop of results. It’s amazing what you can grow if you just keep putting all the previous results back into the same deep shit every year. Look at our record!”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the Sounders state that they are transitioning to a “no dig” methodology of player acquisition as they spread cardboard over the area, cover it with sod and hope that some good shit turns up.