UNITED STATES - Soccer fan Andrew Reynolds stated that he was preparing to obsess over the meaningless Pre-Season rankings for the upcoming Major League Soccer (MLS) season as he stoked his own internal outrage over the largely guesswork information put forth by pundits and reporters.

“EVEVERYONE KNOWS THAT DOYLE IS BIASED,” stated Reynolds into a mirror as he prepared for social media. “WHAT DOES THAT TOM BOGART EVEN KNOW!”

Sources say that Reynolds has cultivated an aggrieved personality that takes every pre-conceived slight from every single word that any pundit on the league has uttered over the previous offseason and distills it into a conspiracy laden rant online about how the leagues experts are just never paying attention to his team.

“HOW COULD THEY EVEN RANK THEM SO LOW,” stated Reynolds into a speak to draft bluesky scheduled post. “THIS JUST SHOWS HOW MUCH THEY FAVOR THE SO-CALLED DARLING TEAMS OF THE LEAGUE JEFF RUETERS HAS TOTALLY BEEN PAID OFF.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Reynolds issues a multi-part post about how the league is purposefully setting his team up with a low power-ranking as a method of disrespect.