NEW YORK - Sources indicate that New York City Football Club (NYCFC) petitioned for an opportunity to play a home game at the Queensboro FC Stadium prototype that was released today online.
What is this, a stadium for ANTS?!
The Queensboro prototype made out of balsa wood and glue was proposed to be left just outside of Citi Field in the grass somewhere to allow for a “downtown feel”. As for the issue of humans being too big for the prototype, City Group offered complimentary shrink ray services for anyone on the team.
"It's still in the city," stated NYCFC Events Manager Rob Williams. "We need to convince our players to reduce themselves via shrink ray to roughly a half inch or so, but It's IN THE CITY. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?"
Sources with Queensboro FC indicate that they received a request for an NYCFC Home Game as soon as the prototype was revealed on their Twitter account earlier.
"It's really the fans choice,” stated Williams to The Nutmeg News. “Half inch players reduced with a discount shrink ray purchased from a stall on Canal Street playing in a balsa stadium prototype built for a USL team in Queens or playing our home games in..... shudder... New Jersey"
For their part, Red Bull supporters instantly planned to pour Red Bull on the stadium after it is moved, something not covered by insurance. “It’s kind of getting sad, they have been actually doing everything but getting a real stadium. That money buying the shrink ray could have bought off a NYC politician.”
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as NYCFC reach out to Asbury Park F.C. about their stadium situation and whether they have any available dates.