GERMANY - The German Men’s World Cup Team is reportedly preparing for games in the United States by training for tear gas exposure and police violence as their coaches put together a plan to ensure that they won’t be surprised.
“We saw the recent video of football being played in gas during a game in Washington,” stated one German insider. “It seems prudent for our players to understand how to play through the exposure to these every day American things.”
Sources say that the team has imported American police officers and ICE goon squads to randomly launch tear gas cannisters and less-lethal munitions at players as they try to play out of the back.
“We actually had to ask them to hold back at the beginning as the people we brought in from the United States gleefully and repeatedly launched gas at our players and lined them up for shots from their non-lethal munitions,” stated our insider. “It was important for us to step into this little by little, but nothing we did calmed down the people we brought in. Unfortunately, some of our youth team were detained for not presenting paperwork and disturbing the peace as they practiced a rondo on the sidelines. We are still working to free them from a prison in Dallas.”
The Nutmeg News has more on this as this happens.
