LOS ANGELES - New Major League Soccer (MLS) and current Los Angeles Football Club (LAFC) executive Larry Berg announced his plan to implement hydration breaks with commercials that last for 90 minutes for Major League Soccer as he claimed, “THE PROFITS MUST GROW AND GROW AND GROW AND GROW”.

Sources say that Berg is a believer that fans don’t watch soccer for the game, but for the commercials where they can learn how to treat plaque psoriasis and erectile dysfunction.

“He believes that Americans don’t actually like soccer,” stated one insider. “He once told me that Americans just want to look European cool, but they still want the commercials of their NFL games.”

Nutmeg News reporters asked Berg about the situation and he stated, “Everyone… EVERYONE loved the hydration breaks with commercials during the World Cup. I spoke to many people. The CEO of Modelo, the CEO of Coca-Cola, the CEO of Palantir, the CEO of Bayer Pharmaceuticals and they all said the same thing. WE LOVE HYDRATION BREAKS WITH COMMERCIALS.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Berg implements this league wide.