Club América Confirm They Hold Player Rights To Landon Donovan

Mexico City, MX - Liga MX team Club América announced, today, that they hold the player rights for Landon Donovan after Major League Soccer (MLS) traded the retired players rights to América for the ability to have a failing player from Club América come play on loan for LAFC in 2 years and a bulk order of Tide laundry detergent.

Bienvenidos, Donovan!

"We control the future for Mr. Donovan," stated manager Ignacio Ambríz. "We plan on seeing him in azul y amarillo, if he returns, and playing on the hallowed field of Estadio Azteca."

Reportedly, Club América is not interested in targeted allocation money or an additional Designated Player option, but rather is interested in seeing if Donovan could even make the reserve bench for América in a television series they plan on producing called, "Gringo at the Gates 2: Watch Donovan Fail."

"We know that all American soccer fans will welcome Landon's attempts at making our roster and we welcome the United States press covering this. Welcome to Club América, Landon!"

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as THE GREATEST PLAYER IN MAJOR LEAGUE SOCCER, LANDON DONOVAN, rethinks his return.