Eastern Conference Fans Manage To Enjoy Their Teams Despite Knowing Their Conference Is Shit

Fans of Eastern Conference teams in Major League Soccer managed to really enjoy their teams and the games that they watched in person despite their knowledge that they play in a vastly inferior league to Major League Soccer West. 

 In This Photo: Fans confident that they are watching the Timbers get relegated to the Eastern Conference. Mandatory Credit: Kevin Jairaj-USA TODAY Sports

In This Photo: Fans confident that they are watching the Timbers get relegated to the Eastern Conference. Mandatory Credit: Kevin Jairaj-USA TODAY Sports

This satisfaction in the weekend came despite the fact that fans of eastern conference teams have been informed that they really they should give it all up and start working on their plein air painting and still life sculpting.

"Indeed, we have been informed only about 2,000 times in the last four years that the West is stronger than the East" said communications director of the Midnight Riders Jamison O'Flannery. "We thought about packing it all in about 3 years ago because it was clear that we were just vastly inferior, but then we realized that we were just going to support our team anyway because there was nothing we could do about it."

"I don't even know why they keep watching their teams" said Seattle Sounders fan Hoskins Brustace. "I mean, we all know the West is stronger. No one wants to watch an inferior product. They should just give up and convert to a Western team. Seriously, Eastern Conference.... get your shit together and just convert. We have more room on the Sounders bandwagon."

Despite this knowledge of conference inferiority, 19,000 + fans showed up to shamefully watch lower conference soccer as DC United played against the Philadelphia Union. The game began with an announcement from Major League Soccer stating, "You are watching two teams from the Eastern Conference. We can cancel this game and just show Dallas and Portland on the concourse televisions if enough people want us to do so."

 In This Photo: 19,000 fans wondering if they could leave to watch real soccer played in Dallas.

In This Photo: 19,000 fans wondering if they could leave to watch real soccer played in Dallas.

Rumors exist that DC versus Philadelphia was indeed played to conclusion regardless of this offer, but no one on The Nutmeg News staff cared enough to see what the score was. We were quoted as saying "It's only the Eastern Conference. Does anyone care?"