Minneapolis, MN - Soccer fan Garrett Johannson cannot figure out if he is a Pumas or a Tigres fan after deciding to throw his lot in with a team from Liga MX as a fan.
"I'm having a hard time gleaning all the necessary facts from wikipedia to establish a viable connection to the city beyond the broad scopes of soccer" said Johannson. "I mean I like tigers, but I also like cougars. I do, however, dislike Notre Dame and that connection to Pumas pushes me towards Tigres. However, Tigres also has a chance to win the Copa Libertadores which means I would be coming on as a bandwagon fan. Then again... I knew them before they won the Copa, so that would be good. They also have a chance at losing and nothing cements a bond like a team with heartbreak. Look either way we cut this I like burritos, so I'm trying to figure out which location makes the best burrito that I could eat outside the stadium."
Johannson decided to throw his lot in with two teams after getting perpetually frustrated with the clownshoes organizations that run soccer in North America. "Yeah, I just can't bring myself to root for a league instead of a team and that's basically MLS. Minnesota United are possibly going there soon, which means that the club closest to me is about to turn from a club to a subway franchise pumping out fresh meat. So I might as well start fresh and clean with a team from a city I know nothing about with a fanbase that I know nothing about with a language that I don't speak."
Johannson said that while winning is a priority, that he would almost certainly rather visit Mexico City than the area surrounding Monterrey which is another deterrent in his search for a club. "I'm basing this purely on google image searches, but I'd rather explore the craziness of Mexico City based on about 2 minutes worth of research."
While Johannson doesn't speak Spanish at all, he doesn't find this a deterrent to his shifting fanhood. "I speak English perfectly and yet I frequently don't want to hear what our commentators have to say in the United States. So I'll just learn to roll with the punches, watch a bunch of Destino repeats on PBS and figure it all out as I go. Vamos Pumas! Pumas til I Die.... wait... Do they say that?"