WASHINGTON - DC United fan, Derek Thurston, took to twitter after United's 4-0 victory over the Chicago Fire to celebrate by telling all of his fellow fans that they are horrible, non-believing fans who don't deserve to follow his soccer team.
"I tweeted out, 'where's all the non believers and haters now?!' and then I spent the rest of the day finding all the people who shit talked DC United over the last week and tweeting at them directly to go to hell and to let them know that they are really fake fans" said Thurston.
Mr. Thurston admitted that his method of celebration is toxic, at best, and that his behavior is best associated with the pejorative, asshole. However, as Mr. Thurston put it, "All those fans are fake ass believers. I'm the only person who knows how to support through thick and thin. I went back and made sure that every person who said any critical thing about Ben Olsen or the team in the last week was notified that they are a fake ass fan, and that they should just shut up about the team or stop being a fan. The only way to be a fan is the way that I am and that is 100% acceptance of everything that the team puts out at all time, treating every press release as though it is a missive from God himself. God in this particular case being Ben Olsen. Praise be to Olsen. Death to the unbelievers."
Mr. Thurston wanted to make sure that his fellow fans and friends knew that he was the only one who supported the team this week and ensured that this was the case by re-posting all of his twitter messages to Facebook.
"All of social media will know. No one should care about that 4-0 win. The first thing you should think about after that win is me and how much I care, because I care a lot."
The Nutmeg News will have more on Mr Thurston as his ego grows.