D.C. United Fans Demand Testimonial Match For International Roster-Spot After Trade Announced To Minnesota United

WASHINGTON - Fans of Major League Soccer (MLS) franchise D.C. United flooded the front office of the team with calls for a testimonial match for their beloved International Roster-Spot (IRS) as the long serving roster mechanism was sent to Minnesota United for $50,000 in General Allocation Money (GAM) and a free transfer of Ole and Lena jokes from Ingebretsen's in Minneapolis.


“The long and storied history of IRS with United demands that the club put on a testimonial match in their honor,” stated United fan (of DC) Ralph Sweetwater. “If you look at the contributions that IRS gave in D.C. then you will know that not only should United stage a testimonial, but at the point that IRS retires from United, then Minnesota should immediately allow IRS to retire as a United Player.”

Customer support representatives indicate that their offices were swamped with calls of love and support for International Roster-Spot as fans made a run on D.C. United kits with the Roster-Spot naming plates before the team removes them from their website.

“We want to see a testimonial match for Roster-Spot,” stated Cynthia Hughes of Richmond. “The fans deserve to fill up Audi Field while pretending that it’s still RFK stadium and honor IRS one last time.”

While some focused on the Testimonial Match, others reportedly worked on having Roster-Spot inducted in to the D.C. United Hall of Tradition that theoretically still exists.

“International Roster Spot worked harder for D.C. United than nearly any other player from the last six seasons,” stated longtime fan Oswaldo Sanchez. “The club needs to recognize them and induct them into the Hall Of Tradition so that Roster-Spot can rightfully join the likes of Jaime Moreno, Eddie Pope, and Jeff Agoos as a true legend of D.C. United.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as D.C. United ignore the wishes of their fans and post that International Roster Spot wasn’t that great anyway.