NEW YORK - Major League Soccer announced new CBD infused players for their upcoming April 20th games as the league dipped their toe into the ongoing trend in the United States and Canada.
“As we move into the new, new millennia, we are trying to find new ways to integrate our brand into the ongoing cultural zeitgeist,” stated MLS director of CBD, Vaping, and Tinctures Johan “BigPlume” Canavate. “We will debut a number of CBD enhanced players for our 4-20 games in conjunction with our new strain of Red Bull New York marijuana called KaKush.”
The league stated that while they will comply with federal and local laws regarding the availability of marijuana that CBD (Cannabidiol) is not a schedule 1 drug and available for infusing with their players to create a new experience for fans.
“We are finding that our CBD enhanced players give fans a more relaxing soccer experience while reducing inflammation that typically happens from the stress of a soccer game,” stated Canavate. “We are offering our CBD infused players in samples from 5’5 to 6’3 and will have a range of experiences for those of our discerning fans concerned about the overall harvest and origin of their players.”
Fans say that the new CBD infused players will not offer a euphoric “high” feeling, but more so relieve the pain edge associated with watching their team struggle with stringing two passes together on a regular basis.
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as CBD Infused Players tie in with Carls Jr to create the ultimate…. um……….. wait… like .what? ok, so… yeah, like um……. How do I even … like…. WATCH this game, man.