Veteran Supporter Really Pretending To Care This Year

NEW YORK - Veteran Red Bull New York and Metrostars supporter Enrique Hernandez showed his commitment to really pretending to care this year by listening to new Red Bull fan Josh Davis rant about how excited he is for the upcoming season.

“If I duck down under the level of the outside wall he might not see me.”

“If I duck down under the level of the outside wall he might not see me.”

"OMG THIS SEASON IS GOING TO BE SO GOOD,.” spewed Davis to Hernandez in the corridor between their cubicles and the men’s restroom.

“I’M SO EXCITED THAT THERE IS ANOTHER RED BULLS FAN HERE. AT MY LAST JOB THERE WEREN’T ANY SOCCER FANS. I FINALLY GOT SEASON TICKETS THIS YEAR. DID YOU WATCH THE PRESEASON GAMES? THE PRESEASON GAMES WERE AMAZING! WE MADE IT TO PLAY OFFS, RIGHT, IT WAS AMAZING. WE TOTALLY HAVE A CHANCE! WHERE ARE YOU WATCHING THE GAME NEXT WEEK,” shouted Davis as Hernandez let himself into the key-card accessed server room to which Davis does not have access.

A fan of the team since 1996, Hernandez recently went through a passionless season where he felt numb and disengaged most of the year despite mostly positive results by the team. He confided to other close friends that he even considered giving up his season tickets before he figured out a way to continue enjoying the matches by scaling back his social media presence and enjoying things as they happen.

According to statements made later that day, Hernandez was, “Yeah, um.. super excited for the season,” as he filled up his coffee and asked what the temperature outside was in a monotone voice.

"Should be a fun year, I guess. We are totally going to win the league or something,” sighed Hernandez to Mr Davis. “This is my 23rd year supporting the team and i’m sooooooooooo toooootally as excited as i was in year one, man."

According to fellow coworkers, Mr Davis spent most of Tuesday trying to set up a watch party between the two of them for the next away game before asking Mr. Hernandez where his season tickets are in the stadium and, “DO YOU KNOW ANYONE WHO MAKES THOSE BIG BANNER THINGS THAT THE FANS HAVE BECAUSE I HAVE SOME GREAT IDEAS.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Hernandez actively avoids Davis when he sees him at a concessions stand in Red Bull Arena.