Philadelphia, PA - Soccer fan Anthony Hughes took to the internet to complain about the current state of his favorite sport as he stated, “Why can’t we make soccer less complicated in this country,” while also opening up a browser page to make a payment on a $1,633 ambulance ride he took for a heart attack last year.

“I don’t care if I’m turning purple and clutching at the carpet, you DO NOT CALL THEM. Death is way more affordable.”

“I don’t understand why soccer has to be the way it is here,” stated Hughes as he simultaneously rebutted a number of comments on his Facebook page from parents who refuse to vaccinate their kids and claim he is trying to poison his daughter.

“It doesn’t make sense. We have the infrastructure to really make a splash on the world stage if we could figure things out,” stated Hughes as he tried to argued with someone on Reddit that black people deserve the right to not be killed in their own home by the police .

Hughes was reportedly upset after noticing the problems suffered by leagues, teams and players where it is clear that the game of soccer has settled in with the overarching arc of United States society towards discordant, sometimes depressing but very profitable chaos.

“It seems like all we need is someone who can actually come in with a plan that will emphasize the stability of the leagues and maximize the growth of the sport without compromising the fans that got the sport where it is,” stated Hughes as he attempted to figure whether or not his voter registration was mysteriously purged recently.

“Oh well, I guess it’ll get better after the next election when we get someone that really cares about the game,” stated Hughes as he repeated the same phrase he said recently about the upcoming 2020 election.

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