TORONTO - Officials for the Canadian Premier League (CPL) announced that they were on high alert after rumors of MLS SuperDraft Dodgers began to swirl on the internet.
Where have all the flower children gone?
“We are here to welcome them into our league with open arms,” stated league commissioner David Clanachan. “If these League Resisters want to embrace our Canadian lifestyle of peace, hockey, curling, and sometimes soccer we welcome them eagerly into our boundless land from Pacific FC to the Halifax Wanderers.”
Our reporters spoke with one SuperDraft dodger who stated, “there is a fact that roughly 100,000 young soccer players will chose Canada rather than fighting in a league in which they don’t want to play. I crossed over at the Coutts border crossing in Alberta and my voice broke as the border guard questioned my AYSO uniform. However, now that I’m here I can say that I was welcomed with open arms.”
For their part, the league officials with Major League Soccer condemned the escaping players as, “draft evading traitors whose rights in this league will be enforced.”
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Commissioner Clanachan announces a new League Resister statue at the Ambassador Bridge.