United States Fails To Qualify For E-Sports World Cup

WASHINGTON - In a shocking development, the United States E-Sports Men's National World Cup team (USEMNT) was knocked out by the E-Sports World Cup team from Trinidad and Tobago, on Friday, bringing an end to their 2017/2018 qualifying campaign.

"I couldn't believe it," stated Thad Newton, an e-sports star who goes by the online handle of BigFlappyButtPaddles. "I took the US into the final qualifying round for the tournament and we lost."

Reportedly, the USSF E-Sports division released a statement that they were disappointed in the result but if a few other games had gone differently in Rocket League and Hearthstone, they would have qualified with ease.

"We don't need to blow everything up," stated president of USSF E-Sports Mr. Senile Galabi. "We are obviously disappointed, but if E-Wondolowski doesn't miss his E-Shot in the E-World Cup in 2014, we would be world champions, so there's that."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as up and coming e-sports star HAX0RL33Toverl0@d (Josiah Gutierrez, of Brownsville, TX) chooses to represent Mexico in the upcoming E-Sports World Cup, due to this loss.