Man's Suggestions To Fix Supporters Group Revolve Around Him Doing Absolutely Nothing

CHICAGO - While stating that he was ashamed and fed up with the culture and behavior of Section 8, soccer fan Paul Henderson detailed his opinion online while offering suggestions to fix the group that involve him doing absolutely nothing.

"Look, I'm not a racist, but... I don't like politics mixing in my supporters groups. Everyone knows there's no racism if I don't experience it," - Paul Henderson

"Look, I'm not a racist, but... I don't like politics mixing in my supporters groups. Everyone knows there's no racism if I don't experience it," - Paul Henderson

"I've got a lot of problems with Section 8," stated Henderson before launching into a list of deeply held grievances which he never aired to anyone personally before the pressure release of an online post allowed him to explode in a squealing ball of white hot rage. "I just want the experience to cater to my experience as long as I don't have to put any effort into the experience."

Reportedly, much of Henderson's beef comes from a poor interaction with supporters in the section over 4 years ago when a sober and irritated Henderson clashed with some drunk fans. 

Insider sources indicate that it was from this point on that Henderson meticulously collected incidents that supposedly proved his verbose online rant that Section 8 were a bunch of drunks that didn't like to watch the game and were European cos-playing idiots.

"I don't participate in Section 8, have no intention of doing anything to resolve my differences with the group, and spend most of my time at the games with my arms crossed alternating between irritated disgust at the supporters group and watching the action on the field; but let me tell you why they are a bunch of assholes," ranted Henderson to an online web forum. "My solution involves me not getting involved, and having them realize what they are doing wrong from some kind of psychic osmosis where they understand my issues without interaction and understand that my words are truth and fix it themselves."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Henderson continues to complain on line and avoid any in-person conversations that could likely fix his issues with the supporters group in the first place.