Columbus, OH - Columbus Crew fan Charlotte Evans admitted that her attempt to get Seize A Shark, from electropop band Future Islands, utilized as a song for the Columbus Crew failed as she bemoaned the lack of song originality by Crew fans on Twitter.
"It says something about our supporters groups that we can't all get together to sing a deep cut from the original Wave Like Home album," stated Ms. Evans. "It's a modern fucking classic, and everyone should know this electropop band that has elements of hardcore. How do you not know Future Islands?"
Reportedly, Ms. Evans was similarly upset when her attempt at getting Lazerhawk - Overdrive going failed.
"How do you not know LAZERHAWK? My god? Do you folks not listen to music at all? We just do syncopated DO OD OD OD OD ODO DOODODODODOODODODO and some jumping around in the stands. It worked for Seven Nation Army, why can't we do it with Lazerhawk? How the hell do you not know who Lazerhawk are? Next thing you know my fellow Crew supporters are going to tell me that they can't see Com Truise as a modern belter in the Nordecke. Can we at least get a Denzel Curry 'Ultimate' chant going? People know it from that Spongebob meme. CREW IS THE ONE. DON'T WEIGH A TON. DON'T NEED TO BE NUMBER ONE TO GET RESPECT UP ON THE STREET"
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Ms. Evans angrily stews in the stands at the capo conspiracy to squelch her excellent song suggestions.