Major League Soccer Lays Framework For Competent Referees By The Year 3030

NEW YORK - Officials with Major League Soccer (MLS) spoke on a conference call, on Monday, to lay out the new framework for having competent referees by the year 3030 as they stated, "one day.... one day....this'll happen."

"Just so you know, I'm going to be completely impartial to the both of you and make stupid decisions not based on partiality but, rather, a lack of skill."

"Just so you know, I'm going to be completely impartial to the both of you and make stupid decisions not based on partiality but, rather, a lack of skill."

Officials with both the Professional Referee's Organziation (PRO) and the United States Soccer Federation (USSF) joined the call as they detailed a bullet point plan of increasing the level of referees in the nation.

Some of the bullet points given in the conference call were as follows.

#1 Get Better

#2 Get Better Without Needing To Be Paid More Money

#3 More Video Referee's to replace our current referee's that ain't no good

#4 More on field distractions to hide the bad referees

#5 Less pay to the referee's in order for what to make them lift themselves up by bootstraps

The conference call concluded without a QA period.

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as PRO and MLS continue on their seemingly quixotic quest to improve the current state of referees.