James Comey Refuses To Comment On Promotion Relegation

WASHINGTON - Stating, "Holy shit, there's no way I'm answering that question," former Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation James Comey refused to answer pointed questions about promotion/relegation and whether the White House is keeping P&R from being implemented in North American soccer leagues that count to people in the United States because they aren't in Mexico.

I did not have promotional relations with that league.

I did not have promotional relations with that league.

"Do you or do you not at least acknowledge that the system has some merit," asked Senator Dianne Feinstein to Mr. Comey.

Mr. Comey replied that he would, "be unable to speak about matters without divulging critical elements of national security, and... as well.. I don't... well you know...., like.. you know.. my twitter feed is pretty cool right now, bros, and I don't need to totally blow it up by inviting those dudes who just wont stop talking about P&R all the time."

Mr. Comey then ducked questions about the impact of Promotion and Relegation in Liga MX and whether President Trump asked him to drop his investigation into the merits of a fully tiered soccer league as he stated, "I was asked whether or not I was loyal to the NASL and I told Mr President that I was, in fact, only going to be honest to him. I could not commit to loyalty to the NASL, but I will be honest about my loyalty to the NASL."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Mr. Comey invokes "Chat Shit Get Banged" in his defense.