Red Bull New York Fan Now Hopes To Watch Team Win MLS Cup Before Country Turns Into Despotic Wasteland

NEW YORK - On the day of the announcement of the United States rejecting the Paris Agreement, Red Bull New York fan David Frank admitted that he revised his dream from, "I hope I see Metro win an MLS Cup before I die," to, "I hope I see Metro win an MLS Cup before the United States devolves into a despotic wasteland." 

Image: Adam Adamowicz - Bethesda concept Artist for Fallout 3   Look, even DC won the race to have a picture in here before an apocalyptic New York.

Image: Adam Adamowicz - Bethesda concept Artist for Fallout 3

 

Look, even DC won the race to have a picture in here before an apocalyptic New York.

"I don't know, I guess I'm just feeling pessimistic about everything," stated Frank to The Nutmeg News. "However, I just want to see Metro win an MLS Cup before everything goes completely to shit."

Frank stated that he is well aware that his current thoughts are hyperbolic, but as he is only 31 years old, he is fully aware that he has a whole lifetime of watching his country devolve into a despotic wasteland ruled by nomadic bands of warlords who bow before the God-King.

"Oh sure, this is all dumb, but seriously... I can't help but feel we are just a few armed conflagrations away from everything REALLY going to shit, and before that happens, I'd just once... JUST ONCE like to see Metro win the freaking cup, is that too much to ask?"

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as we inform Mr. Frank that it is, in fact, too much to ask.