The Amway Canadian Championship kicks off tonight with the epic quarterfinal play-in between FC Edmonton and the Ottawa Fury, but many people still have questions about the competition.
Here is everything you need to know about the 2017 edition of the Amway Canadian Championship
WHEN DOES IT START:
HOW DID WE GET HERE:
First there was an explosion, then the earth cooled, then the dinosaurs roamed, then there was Canada, maple syrup, Simon & Hecubus, Celine Dion, Don Cherry and the Toronto Maple Leafs crashing out of the playoffs.
HOW MANY TEAMS ARE THERE:
There are many teams, trust us. You don't need to look this up. We absolutely know how many teams there are and there are a lot of teams. The best teams. Look, if we told you there were more teams than 2 but less teams than 20 would that make sense? It absolutely would, so we aren't telling falsehoods. Some people would suggest there might even be more than 4 teams, but that might require some research.
This year there are five. In future years there may be more than 5, maybe.
HOW DOES THE CANADIAN PREMIER LEAGUE FIGURE INTO THIS:
WHICH TEAM IS THE CURRENT TITLE HOLDER:
WHICH TEAM IS THE FAVORITE TO WIN:
Manitoba Wasps FC
WHAT DOES THE WINNING TEAM RECEIVE:
A deathmatch against Toronto FC for the right to lose horrifically on the road in Mexico against a team playing their secondary squad at some point in the distant future.
WHAT IF TORONTO FC WINS AGAIN:
Then they will split squads and play against each other with Sebastian Giovinco playing as a roving #10 against both squads. If that game ends in a draw then the split squad victor will be solved by a slow motion knife fight set to Rush's YYZ in the parking lot of the Canadian Tire on St Clair.
WHERE CAN I WATCH THIS:
Probably online. Maybe. Definitely in person, provided you are in the Ottawa area, tonight. By the way, if you are in the Ottawa area tonight Mitch McKenzie could use some help moving his couch. Please RSVP if you are available.
WHATS THE NUTMEG NEWS PREDICTION FOR TONIGHT:
Edmonton over Anaheim 4-2