Seattle Sounders Waiting Til July 26, 2017 To Fire Brian Schmetzer

Seattle, WA - The Seattle Sounders stated today that they will be waiting til July 26, 2017 to fire Brian Schmetzer, regardless of the results leading up to the date, as they unveil their strategy to get back to the 2017 MLS Cup finals.

Someone brought the cup! (AP Photo/Elaine Thompson, File)

Someone brought the cup!

(AP Photo/Elaine Thompson, File)

"We have a clear blueprint of what worked for us in 2016," stated Sounders owner Adrian Hanauer. "We plan on letting these result go on til July 26. At this point, we expect to be near the bottom of the league. On July 26th we will fire Brian Schmetzer, promote Ezra Hendrickson to head coach and ride the wave of optimism to MLS Cup 2017."

Sources within the front office indicate that this new plan is called "Sigi-Ex Machina" and that the Sounders brass are very excited for another Cup victory.

"What we proved last year is that the impossible is possible if you fire your head coach at the appropriate time in the season," stated minority owner and Guatemalan cocaine expert Joe Roth. "We are preparing space in the trophy room for MLS Cup 2017 and preparing a generous severance package for our soon to be fired friend Brian."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the Sounders players do their part.