Denver, CO - After enlisting in the Don't Cross The Line initiative promoted by Major League Soccer (MLS), goalkeeper Tim Howard indicated that he would personally check players passports to ensure that no one crosses the line.
"I'm a firm believer in borders. I'm a firm believer in patriots. I'm a firm believer that there's no more sacred duty than standing for your national anthem. I'm a firm believer that you don't need to vote to talk about any of the above, and I'm a firm believer in America for English speaking Americans," stated Howard to The Nutmeg News. "I plan on ensuring that no one crosses the line without my say-so."
Reportedly, Howard confused the diversity, equality and inclusion initiative by MLS to mean that the league was working to keep dual nationals from taking Howard's job.
"It's my prerogative to state that we are a nation of English speaking Americans who don't need passionless immigrants coming in to take our soccer jobs. I still think it was a... disgrace that the entire post match ceremony of the Gold Cup was in Spanish. You bet your ass, if we were in Mexico City the ceremony would not be all in English. CONCACAF should be ashamed of themselves. DONT CROSS THE LINE!"
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Howard patrols the Arizona/Mexico border in a rented Humvee.