Allegations Of Weather And Match Fixing In Minnesota As FBI Close In On Heat Miser Cartel

Minneapolis, MN - Allegations of weather and match fixing during the recent Minnesota United and Atlanta United game were stated as the FBI announced that they are closing in on the international Heat Miser Cartel

They both root for United.

They both root for United.

"We  believe that what we have here is the attempted match fixing of an MLS game by two notorious criminals," stated FBI director and Fancy Feast gourmand James Comey. "We understand that there were a high number of unusual betting patterns being placed by known associates of the Heat Miser Cartel. As well, members of the Snow Miser Yakuza were inquiring into the variability of soccer contests by weather manipulation, according to deep cover operatives."

"They waged an all out war on each other. Snow, blood, gore and viscera on every street corner. It was hell on earth. This game was just a pawn in their struggle for control," -- Deep Cover Operatives

"They waged an all out war on each other. Snow, blood, gore and viscera on every street corner. It was hell on earth. This game was just a pawn in their struggle for control," -- Deep Cover Operatives

Sources with the FBI indicate that the Heat Miser Cartel and Snow Miser Yakuza had a substantial amount of money riding on the game and Snow Miser operatives stated that no South Town soccer team was going to win in Minnesota.

"Heat Miser paid off the referees. Snow Miser countered by dousing the stadium in snow, thinking it would hinder the SouthTown players. The war escalated out of control," stated the FBI operatives known as Operation Brass Bells. 

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the FBI investigation into the Heat Miser Cartel continues.