WASHINGTON - Kellyanne Conway, Counselor to the President of The United States, stated that USL soccer teams were turned into cameras, last season, to spy on Donald Trump during the 2016 Presidential race.
"Just like your common kitchen microwaves, USL soccer teams like the Pittsburgh Riverhounds, St Louis FC, and the Charleston Battery were turned into cameras by President Barack Obama to spy on Donald Trump," stated Conway to The Nutmeg News. "We all know that there are teams spread around the country. The amount of teams in the USL allowed Barack Hussein Obama to run a comprehensive surveillance group by soccer teams on our President Trump on specific Saturdays and Sundays across the United States."
The Nutmeg News reached out to some of the USL teams implicated in this scandal and received no reply thus confirming every lurid and insane detail the the counselor to the President would suggest.
"We all know that the NASL did this as well," continued Conway. "However, the New York Cosmos would not participate. They are true patriots and President Trump will not forget the names of the glorious patriots that aren't immigrants or Muslims on their team."
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Conway accuses the NPSL as being infiltrated by paid alt-left communist sympathizers and black bloc dissidents.