Pulisic Wonder Goal A Cheerful Holiday Reminder That The United States Is Not In The 2018 World Cup

CHICAGO - The wonder goal scored by Christian Pulisic, today, was a cheerful holiday reminder for Dave Nelson that the United States is not in 2018 World Cup as he ordered another beer at the bar where he watched Dortumund win against Hoffenheim.

Hey, did you know the United States didn't qualify for the World Cup?

Hey, did you know the United States didn't qualify for the World Cup?

"Fuck," stated Nelson as he watched the replay over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. "I can't believe we aren't going to the World Cup."

Nelson actually spent the morning enjoying the conviviality at his local soccer bar where the games moved from early English games to German games as the crowd moved in and out. Reportedly, he hadn't even thought about the fact that he wasn't going to watch the United States fumble fuck their way around the Russian fields in 6 months. 

That was, however, until the end of the Dortmund/Hoffenheim game with Christian Pulisic scored a wonder goal that reminded Nelson of the futility of being a sports fan.

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Nelson shows every single person, who sits next to him for the next 4 hours, the Pulisic goal.