Merch Game Stronger Than Soccer Game For NPSL Side

Kettering, OH - NPSL team the Kettering "Fighting" Ketamine admitted that their merch game is stronger than their soccer game as they continued to sell out of merchandise for the K's despite poor performances on the field.


"We are well reknowned for our line of t-shirts, hats, hoodies and merchandise," stated Ketamine general manager Steve O'Hare. "Our merchandise is the best you will find in the NPSL and I'd argue the best you will find in the USL or NASL either."

Reportedly, the Fighting Ketamine lost 12 games during the 2017 season but this did nothing to stop the rolling merch sales as the Ketamine staff put out one banging design after another.

"It's really incredible," stated O'Hare. "We took all the money we were going to spend on staff, facilities and player scouting and put it back into our merch team and social media. We are making more in online sales than we ever were at the box office. Eventually we might channel some of that money back into the team. Up the mighty fighting Ketamine!"

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as fans describe the last game of the 2017 season for the Ketamine as 11 men running around in a stupor.