Landon Donovan Emerges From Cryogenic Sleep To Pitch All-Star Homegrown Game

San Jose, CA - Landon Donovan emerged, on Wednesday, from the Cryogenic Sleep Chamber designed to preserve his current playing condition for the USMNT til after Jurgen Klinsmann leaves the head coaching position to talk about the upcoming MLS All-Star Homegrown game.

It's Landon Donovan, Clint Mathis and a replicant made from Steve Cherundolo's spliced DNA.

It's Landon Donovan, Clint Mathis and a replicant made from Steve Cherundolo's spliced DNA.

"What's Tim Howard up to?" stated Donovan to the gathered media that came to see his unfreezing process. "Still dominating the city in the first team of Everton?"

Reportedly, Donovan was unfrozen by Don Garber as part of the Chipotle MLS Homegrown All-Star Game provision in his contract that requires him to appear and coach once per year before he is stuck back in the cube to be frozen for the Qatar World Cup in 2022.

"I'm here to talk about the Chipotle Homegrown game and ... wait.... what's this about President Trump?" stated Donovan to the collection of credentialed bloggers dispatched to the secret freezing location by MajorLeagueSoccerSoccer.com

"So I'm here to talk Chipotle, MLS All Star Games, and the future of our homegrown youth. I'm also here to say that Guacamole is going to be raised to $2 per scoop, that you should try the new Chipotle Burger when it opens, and that our homegrown youth are better in Major League Soccer than overseas. Major League Soccer is the bees knees and with the upcoming expansion to Portland and Vancouver, we expect.... what? ...that already happened?..... oh.... ok, nevermind..... Now please, put me back in before I decay too much to be of service in the USMNT midfield in 2022."

The Nutmeg News will continue to cover the unfreezing process of Donovan as he finds out that he is required to at least make some media appearances before heading back to isolation.