Rube Spends Morning Actually Voting His Favorite Players To The All-Star Game

Pleasant Valley, MO - Sporting Kansas City fan and complete rube Harmon Unfert admitted that he already spent most of Tuesday morning actually voting his favorite players to the All-Star game.

"Playing more games is a good idea. Especially ones that have no essential meaning other than allowing media members the chance to talk to other media members in a club while dub-step blares in the background."

"Playing more games is a good idea. Especially ones that have no essential meaning other than allowing media members the chance to talk to other media members in a club while dub-step blares in the background."

"I want to see them play the Arsenal team from England," stated Unfert to The Nutmeg News on Tuesday. "I'm always thinking about them and their finances and I'm afraid that the guys who are making 3 times my salary aren't going to hit their bonus quotas for the year."

Reportedly, the fact that Sporting Kansas City are in three competitions this season did nothing to sway the vote of Unfert who stated, "They can always just buy more players."

"I don't see why it's a big deal to vote more of our star players into a meaningless friendly. So what if we are playing an actual league game against the Seattle Sounders 4 days before the All-Star Game. So what if we are playing an actual league game against the Portland Timbers 3 days after the All-Star Game. Trust me, the number one thing we want to do is expose our team to more time running around and more of a chance for them to make money on a meaningless friendly mid-season that allows them to hit their targeted bonus clause. I know that is why I'm in this game, to ensure that our players hit their bonus. It's all about the finances."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Unfert repeatedly votes to cancel out all the "Negative Nellys"