Chicago Fire In Talks To Cut Ties With Designated Player Dumpster Fire

CHICAGO - The Chicago Fire are reportedly starting talks aimed at buying out the designated player Dumpster Fire that acquired a perpetual place in their lineup after being traded there in 2010.

The Chicago Fire designated player dumpster fire, in better days.

The Chicago Fire designated player dumpster fire, in better days.

"Well, the old regime acquired Dumpster Fire back in 2010 and gave it renewed options in 2012, twice in 2013, 2014 and then in 2015, and somehow it just didn't ever seem to work out." stated Nelson Rodriguez, General Manager of the Fire. "So, we are just re-evaluating if it is possible for us to stop re-signing Dumpster Fire to a new contract extension nearly every single year."

Reportedly, the Fire have spent over 1 million dollars on Dumpster Fire just this season and have rarely seen the Dumpster Fire contribute anything to the lineup that reflects the amount of money it has been given over the last six years. 

"Why I remember reading news stories of Dumpster Fire back in 2010 when it made over a million dollars," stated Fire fan Ralph Bollingbrook. "However, it never panned out. The crazy part was that the Fire organization kept signing Dumpster Fire to contract extensions."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as swirling rumors of a buyout coalesce.