Colorado Rapids Credit The Nutmeg News For Early Season Form

Commerce City, CO - The Colorado Rapids today credited The Nutmeg News for their early season form stating, "It was their pre-season criticism that propelled us to where we are right now."

 WE are spinning and you are spinning and your car is spinning and like everything is all about magnets and fields and have you ever seen what they put in GMO corn? I mean, my god! That'll make you spin and what do your hands...... do?

WE are spinning and you are spinning and your car is spinning and like everything is all about magnets and fields and have you ever seen what they put in GMO corn? I mean, my god! That'll make you spin and what do your hands...... do?

The Nutmeg News spoke to The Nutmeg News about this situation and we had the following to say, "We knew that writing so many articles about how bad the Rapids are would propel them to better heights of performance. We take heart that they were able to admit that our poignant articles about their untimely demise gave them the vigor to fight, this season."

While The Nutmeg News stated that they can't take all the credit, they did say that more credit belongs to The Nutmeg News than the players, a statement that the Rapids agreed with as TNN reporters spoke with Pablo Mastroeni about the early season.

"You know, we are spinning so fast on the earth it's a wonder that we don't fly off and the earth has like a gravitational field but no one knows what gravity really is and there are things you can't see like ghosts who turn the earth in work with the hollow earth people, the Illuminati, and a secret conspiracy between Jeffrey Tambor and Stephen Root to bring down the world elites. It's all varying. As Geoff Cameron states, Why does no one talk about Benghazi and what everyone is like saying and doing all the time if I'm not around? Do they exist? Anyway, we were spinning and you are spinning and then it's like WHOA! The Nutmeg News and I knew we were going to have a great season. I mean, we are still spinning, but like... man.... um....," and Mr Mastroeni trailed off and continued staring into space.

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the Colorado Rapids utilize our publication for scouting tips on their next game.