Canada And United States Edge Towards Official Football Countries After Frustrations With National Teams Mount

Canada and the United States were announced as having crept slightly closer towards being official football countries after frustrations with their national teams increased.

 "As we can see, the acceptance of football in the United States and Canada has moved the doomsday clock even closer to total destruction."

"As we can see, the acceptance of football in the United States and Canada has moved the doomsday clock even closer to total destruction."

The IAFCC (the International Association Of Football Country Certification) stated that both countries in recent weeks have taken a strong step towards international recognition with their cycle of overrating their national team which is then naturally followed by a loss, followed by passionate anger, depression, asking for the coach to be fired, underrating their team, apathy and then anger.

"We saw a large shift in the way in which these two fanbases moved towards the vicious cycle of supporting a national team," stated director of scientific research and latent Dido fan John Hammond. "One of the foundations of a true footballing nation is the crushing realization that the national team you follow is fundamentally flawed in some major way and the depression that comes along with that. Of course you have exceptions like Germany, but even they have something to be upset about."

While the move towards legitimacy has increased, the IAFCC has stated that both countries have more work to do before they can be considered legitimate.

"Part of the function of many true footballing countries is having so much failure as a country that you would rather watch your club perform than your country. This typically happens until your international squad makes the World Cup semi-final at which point you are allowed to jump on that bandwagon with every jingoistic nationalist bone in your body," stated Mr Hammond. 

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the IAFCC debates whether the Pie Standard should be applied to both countries as a litmus test for footballing culture.