Coaches, Players And Writers Agree To Keep Up Post Game Charade

The association of soccer coaches, players and soccer writers in North America agreed, today, to keep up the post game charade of the coach spouting platitudes and the journalist writing them down like they matter.

"JORDAN.... JORDAN... JORDAN... HOW DO YOU FEEL?!" -- I'm Excited -- JORDAN MORRIS EXCITED FOR SEATTLE SOUNDERS

"JORDAN.... JORDAN... JORDAN... HOW DO YOU FEEL?!"

-- I'm Excited --

JORDAN MORRIS EXCITED FOR SEATTLE SOUNDERS

"I thought we played hard, and we deserved three points," said an anonymous coach to a collection of writers who dutifully wrote these platitudes down as though they actually have some kind of meaning. 

"We just need to stick to fundamentals, really capitalize on our opportunities and dig deep in order to bend but not break and pull out a win next week," he stated into 5 cellphones held around his head as the journalists craned their necks to look for any available food with which to feed themselves before the 2 hour drive home to edit a story about these insightful quotes at 11:30 pm.

The Nutmeg News was able to speak to Philadelphia Picayune reporter David Grant about this situation and he had the following to say, "It's important for sports writers, coaches and players to keep this going in order to keep the sports writers in business. If I didn't have to transcribe another meeting at a training facility stating, 'We had a good practice, the boys are ready for the next game, everyone is feeling very positive' then I don't know what I would do."

In order to get a full perspective on the situation, TNN reporters spoke with players regarding the post game quotes.

"It's important that everyone understands that it we need to dictate the tempo, and that we can't be intimidated about our post game chats," stated the Major League Soccer Players Union. "We have to capitalize on our opportunities for post game interviews, pull out all the stops, and turn up the intensity in order to find a way to stay hungry and leave everything on the field. We have to avoid a big letdown, come together as a team, believe in ourselves and play within ourselves in order to get our big guys involved in the offense and speak plainly on what reporters can do to keep the continuity."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Mr Grant keeps "the game was a lot closer than the final score indicates" available for copy/paste into his week one and week two soccer recap stories.