LOS ANGELES - Mark Abbot, Juventus fan and champions league aficionado, has declared that he will not attend his child's soccer game as he cannot handle the comparison to the UEFA Champions League that he watched earlier in the day.
"The quality difference between your team and Juventus is noticeable and I refuse to watch shit," stated Mr Abbot to his son Jeremy, on Tuesday. "Be better, be champions league and I'll come watch. You and your pals are just fumble fucking around on the field and I'm not driving all the way out to Glendale to watch shit level football."
Reportedly Jeremy was crushed but Mr Abbot stated that the only way to encourage his son to get better was by ensuring that he pointed out how terrible he and his team are.
"They are 7 years old. They should be better. Given the choice between watching Pogba play and watching my 7 year old child I am obviously going to pick Pogba. I don't understand how anyone could watch the CONCACAF Champions League after watching UEFA Champions League and I don't understand how anyone would want to watch a bunch of 7 year olds sulking about the field after watching the magical performance of Paulo Dybala."
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Mr. Abbot informs his daughter that he will no longer attend her piano recital after watching the New York Philharmonic play.