Commissioner Of The NWSL Unable To Commit and Set The Date

NEW YORK - Jeff Plush, the commissioner of the National Women's Soccer League, announced that he, "Just wasn't feeling it" in regards to committing to another year of soccer for the league.

"Look, I just need some space right now. No, I'm not saying that we are breaking up. Look, just... let's take some time, talk about a schedule, but not set a date. Let's just do that as friends. Can we be friends? I mean maybe we don't NEED to set a date. How about if we just start playing and we will tell your dad and brother about it later."

"Look, I just need some space right now. No, I'm not saying that we are breaking up. Look, just... let's take some time, talk about a schedule, but not set a date. Let's just do that as friends. Can we be friends? I mean maybe we don't NEED to set a date. How about if we just start playing and we will tell your dad and brother about it later."

"I kinda feel like the magic ran out and no amount of Brazilians that are purchased or exotic women that we bring into our locker rooms are going to help me find that spark again," stated Plush to The Nutmeg News on Friday.

Reportedly Plush started feeling this way when people started asking about his feelings on the league, whether he would finally set a date for the opening kick off, whether or not he was interested in a long term commitment and what his thoughts were on having kids, attending the games and becoming fans.

"It was a lot of pressure all at the same time, and I just felt like setting a date was really adding even more pressure," stated a flustered Comissioner Plush to his cool friend Brad who never got married and just rides a scooter around the Coney Island boardwalk picking up chicks. "I just wanted to take things slow, build up nice and easy and just see where we were in July. If we were playing by then, great. However, all this pressure is making me re-think my commitment and I just don't know that I want to set the date. Even my parents keep asking me, 'When are you going to set the date, Jeff. We want to see games. We want to see the kids at the park.' IT IS JUST TOO MUCH GODDAMN PRESSURE."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Commissioner Plus heads off to Atlantic City to blow off some steam and see how he feels about his relationship with the NWSL afterward.