Major League Soccer Continues Annual All Star Game Charade

San Jose, CA - Major League Soccer, today, continued their annual charade performed for the public in which they pretend that anyone cares about the All Star Game.

 FINALLY, MY WHOLE YEAR IS COMPLETE. THE ALL-STAR GAME. WOOOOOOOOOOOO!

FINALLY, MY WHOLE YEAR IS COMPLETE. THE ALL-STAR GAME. WOOOOOOOOOOOO!

"Someone, somewhere cares about this and that's who we are reaching towards," stated commissioner of Major League Soccer, Don Garber. "We aren't reaching out to the hard core fans, nor are we reaching out to the casual fans. We are reaching out to the fan that has literally never gone to an MLS game and wants to go because he owns a Tomáš Rosický kit in his closet and this is the closest he has ever gotten to The Emirates."

With all the pomp and circumstance that a completely meaningless game designed to sell advertisement can generate, Major League Soccer announced that the 2016 opponent would be Arsenal, and that the gift bags for reporters would be even better this season.

Reaction on Twitter was swift as many people immediately tried to figure out a way to fix a game that is inherently stupid at its core level.

"I think they should play only 22 year old players on one side and Liga MX players with a name that starts with J on the other," tweeted @HokyPokyGiggs

"I think they should make it USA versus the World because the USA is #1 always and forever," tweeted @ThisEagleIsntBald

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as throngs of press credentials requests are sent to the league requesting access to the after party that the USWNT stars will be visiting.