Seeking Exposure, Soccer Blogger Returns To Open Mic Night

NEW YORK - Seeking more exposure of his genius talent, soccer blogger Ezra Penny returned to open mic night at the Nuyorican Poets Cafe on East 3rd street.

"Plastic Bags -- Undulating and Waving Dipping in the night time Unlocked golden orbs of hatred Bags.............. Of Piss? !Azteca!"  *snap* *snap* "Can we win?"

"Plastic Bags -- Undulating and Waving

Dipping in the night time

Unlocked golden orbs of hatred

Bags.............. Of Piss?

!Azteca!" 

*snap* *snap*

"Can we win?"

"I hear that Grant Wahl of Sports Illustrated, Ryan Rosenblatt of Fox Sports, and Andrew Das of the New York Times frequent this place so I'm hoping they hear my free verse explanation of the 3-4-3 in today's modern tactical climate that I've intermixed with various quotes from Omar of the television show The Wire," stated Penny to The Nutmeg News.

Reportedly, Penny was looking for a more captive audience than the thousands of people who collectively decide not to read any of the stories he publishes on the 2 personal soccer sites and 1 SB Nation team site that he toils for in obscurity.

"My ideas need more exposure and my genius cannot be contained. My lyrical flow upon the dangerous undercurrent around promotion and relegation is certain to light up the internet once I get an audience for it. I'm just hoping that a Huffington Post or Vice Sports talent scout is going to be sitting in the back row. I'm going to make it, I just know it."

The Nutmeg News spoke to Nuyorican patron Jamie Hargood about Penny's previous sets and she was effusive in her praise, "That time when he went from reciting lines of Plato's Republic in Iambic Pentameter as a defense for the tenure of Jurgen Klinsmann to his adroit recitation of the statistics of an overlapping fullback was pure magic. At the very least I think that Salon should give him a full time job writing 4,000 word think pieces about international soccer so he stops coming here."

Penny himself stated, "I've been living off my job as financial controller for AWERA International, which makes it difficult for me to quit my day job, but I know that I'm just one talent scout for Vice away from really making it big. I'm just planning on really getting my ideas out here with this set. We are going to get controversial tonight and I plan on referencing some 80s movie characters because I hear that Bill Simmons may be stopping by and I think The Ringer needs more soccer."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as five people show up for Penny's set.