Desperately Unoriginal Dickhead Prepares "Brillant" Two Stick

NEW YORK - NYCFC fan Gary Hozier, a desperately unoriginal dickhead, has begun preparing a "Brillant" two stick for 2016 that references new signing Frederic Brillant.

A Brillant signing....  EDITORS NOTE - The intern responsible for this horrible caption has been fired. Thank you.

A Brillant signing.... 

EDITORS NOTE - The intern responsible for this horrible caption has been fired. Thank you.

"It's funny, seriously, it is very very, very funny," stated Hozier to The Nutmeg News on Thursday. "Brillant is his last name but it kinda sounds like brilliant. I'll probably Guinness theme it as well," he stated further confirming his ability to reduce the new signing to a pun worthy of a kick in the groin.

While many people in Hozier's life have told him that doing this is not original and a terrible idea, Mr Hozier is desperate to rush forward in the creation of a pun two stick.

"I have to do it, I just have to. HAVE YOU SEEN HIS NAME? HAVE YOU? SERIOUSLY? IT LOOKS LIKE BRILLIANT. BRILLANT -- BRILLIANT.. BRILLANT -- BRILLIANT..  BRILLANT -- BRILLIANT..  DEAR GOD, IT MUST BE DONE."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Mr Hozier argues whether it is two pole or two stick.