Major League Soccer Source Reports, "Most Of The Undisclosed MLS Terms Of The Transaction Are Sexual Favors"

A source within Major League Soccer (MLS) confirmed to The Nutmeg News that most of the undisclosed "terms of the transaction" on MLS contracts are sexual, home renovation and general life favors exchanged between the executives of Major League Soccer.

 While the terms on this transaction were run of the mill, another term of a transaction earlier in 2015 had a stipulation regarding a bulk supply of butt plugs and Roger Miller compact discs.

While the terms on this transaction were run of the mill, another term of a transaction earlier in 2015 had a stipulation regarding a bulk supply of butt plugs and Roger Miller compact discs.

"You wouldn't believe some of the crazy things I've seen," said the anonymous source to The Nutmeg News on Tuesday morning. "There's been an addendum added to contracts that stipulate nude house cleaning for the month of January. There's been an addendum about building a BDSM chamber below a stadium. There was even an MLS cup winner bonus of a sad, lonely handjob in the corner of Mapfre stadium while 'send in the clowns' was being played over the loudspeaker system. I can't confirm whether or not this cup bonus was actually hit but you wouldn't believe some of the requests in the contract transfers."

While many of the undisclosed terms feature jaw-dropping sexual favors between the ownership groups and members involved in the contract, many are rather mundane as reportedly many of the ownership groups use these undisclosed terms to run their every day errands.

"There was a terms and conditions clause in the Mix Diskerud contract that indicated he had to give hair care seminars to a mistress (who reportedly had frizzy hair) of a purported friend of one of the NYCFC executives," stated our source. "There was also a proviso that indicated Alan Gordon would work on the birdhouse of the nephew of Phil Anschutz if Gordon was substituted in earlier than the 55th minute more than 5 times in one season. I also distinctly remember that most of the Chivas USA squad was used to do general maintenance around the compound of Jorge Vergara and they called it community re-investment."

The Nutmeg News will have more on the hidden terms of the transaction as they come to light.