Orlando City SC To Host Ashley Madison Night

Orlando, FL - In light of recent promotions like the Vancouver Whitecaps Tinder Night, Orlando City SC announced that they will be hosting an Ashley Madison night for their match against the Montreal Impact on October 3rd.

Ashley Madison, the infamous extramarital affairs website, was recently hacked and the data of the customers that belong to it was released to the world. This gave Orlando City the idea of hosting an international nod to infidelity.

Orlando City SC public relations manager Jim Duchesnse had the following to say, "With the recent data leak of Ashely Madison customers we now know that your infidelity is exposed. So why not be out with it at an Orlando City game. The tickets will be buy two get one free and will allow you to move sections between your wife and your illicit lover that we will station in a section away from you but still close enough so that you can steal longing glances at one another across the heaving, sweaty, bellowing body of a Bud Light vendor."

Yes, there's even a celebrity option as well, Mr Harkes.

Yes, there's even a celebrity option as well, Mr Harkes.

According to the press release from Orlando City, ushers will distract your spouse as you flit away to pretend like everything is ok in your life while you ritualistically sever the belief in humanity that your husband/wife has at that particular time. Also available is the "Kids Romper Room" which introduces your children to her children in a way that doesn't let them know that you are considering leaving one for the other until that one late night in August where your wife listened to you talk about your old football days and didn't laugh and you shared a long kiss while remembering what it was like to be 18 again. Ahhhhhh, love.

Orlando City SC said, "While we may disagree with infidelity, if we didn't step out on Austin we wouldn't even be here right now, so this only makes sense to us!"