LOS ANGELES - Bruce Arena, head coach of the Los Angeles Galaxy, is currently having a personal dilemma whether to show up to the Los Angeles Galaxy game against PSA Elite or whether to have a nice dinner at Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles.
"It's a really big debate for me, because I don't care about the US Open Cup in any way and I'll likely be hungry, but some of the fans think I should probably be there" said Arena. "I mean, when you think about that savory, delicious chicken with a smattering of golden waffles against standing on the field and giving exasperated looks for 90 minutes, which one would you rather do?"
Arena has a long tradition of giving zero shits about showing up for US Open Cup Games in the past, so this would continue a long standing tradition for the head coach.
"Look, I can drive through traffic to Carson for the game, or I can drive to Pico, grab some dinner and go out on the beach to watch the sun set and write some poetry. Ultimately, the US Open Cup is a meaningless device to create artificial competition for those who have nothing else to live for, so I'd rather have the chicken and waffles, catch a nice sunset and think about the ultimate futility of man."