Provo, UT - The first round of the US Open Cup produced a memorable upset for marijauana loving, beer drinking, hot coffee enjoying, gay marriage advocating freedom fighters everywhere as Avery Brewing's Harpo's FC took down Brigham Young University on penalty kicks.
"This is a statement against the totalitarian religious institutions that seek to restrict their freedoms" said panhandler and local Boulder roustabout Crazy Pete. "We here in Boulder are kind to our weed smoking, beer drinking, gay marriage advocates and that love towards our fellow humans is reciprocated throughout the world and bestowed upon our local team in karma. It shows as we were blessed in this local...um... what was it? SOCCER? Ok, well soccer then, tournament."
Zac Gibbens, Harpo's goalkeeper, was reported as saying, "I'm going to really enjoy myself, have a few drinks, celebrate this win and then head back to Denver because I had to take a few days off from my actual day job to go play in the US Open Cup and beat this young college team."
While BYU sent more shots into orbit than NASA during the game, they also provided an excellent backdrop for the drama that happened.
"Wow, I'm fricking upset" said local fan Jeremy Smith. "At least I have the memory of Jimmer. All hail Jimmer." TNN was unable to speak with any BYU players as they all had to hurry back to their girlfriends to be able to see them quickly and avoid violating the restrictive BYU honor code and which requires them to be out of any mixed gender situation by midnight.
A self described "Bullshit Pub Team", Harpo's managed to take the game to the Premier Development League college team and outlasted them on penalties to stay in the US Open Cup tournament. They will next play on May 20th 2015 against the Colorado Switchbacks.
TNN will continue our coverage of the US Open Cup as it happens