Philadelphia, PA - Union fan Jeremy Brentwood has finally convinced himself that he no longer goes to the game for the game anymore.
"Seriously, I'm just happy to hang out with my friends by the corner of the River End, drink a beer, talk to the guys I haven't seen in a week and enjoy the scenery. It's like going to the city park for me now as in the distance there's a footy game, there's some loud music backed up by drums, everyone is drinking, its better when the weather is good, and I stand around talking to everyone (except in this case I pay a couple hundred dollars for the privilege)."
While Mr Brentwood admits that he was originally attracted to the game, the joy of winning and the idea of watching good players, the realization of the horrid state of the Union ownership and the play on the field eventually numbed his sensibilities and outrage to such a dull state that he eventually just stopped caring.
"Yeah, I have to say that since I've gotten to the point where I don't care about the results of the games anymore, the only thing holding me here is the community of my friends. I mean granted, it's great when the Union win, but I'm tired of actually putting the hard work into caring and just want to relax into apathetic nihilism while I float away into the haze of not giving a shit about sports. I mean, if enough of my friends stop going to games, then I'll probably stop going. If you don't care about whether the team is playing well or not, then I'm not sure why you go to the games and the same can be said about me. Eventually the novelty of going to the stadium will wear off and I'll just not renew my season tickets because of some kind of self-created financial restriction. Then I'll shed my fandom in this sport like a snake slithering out of his skin. It's fun to not care because it divests me of any real interest in anything and shields me from the pain of what loss, anger and most importantly hopelessness feels like."
The Nutmeg News asked Mr Brentwood about the Son's Of Ben protest against the Union management and he had the following to say, "No one cares. Seriously. We all just root for franchised laundry that is really irrelevant in the world of terror attacks and people getting their arms pulled off by ISIS trained crocodiles. They should just give up, go to the game, sit down... or not... I mean it doesn't really matter anyway. Everything about sports is especially stupid, and they are clearly pretty stupid to care so much about the things that they spend time caring about. I mean, whats the deal with actually giving a shit about things? They seem like nice guys, but no one ever got anything done by making their voice heard. Every single bad situation in history, sports or life was fixed by not doing anything at all and hanging out with your friends and drinking a bit more. It is much better to just take everything on the chin until you just roll over into a small ball and retreat from everything that you like in life. If you submit enough, then eventually someone will just hand you the perfect opportunity. I call it my shrinking violet philosophy."
The Nutmeg News will have more on the state of the Union as it happens.