FC Dallas Announce Proposed Name Change to FC Dallas Code Red Brought To You By Mountain Dew

Dallas, TX - Major League Soccer (MLS) team Football Club Dallas announced that they are considering a name change to come in line with a new MLS mandate requiring more corporate sponsorship in the league. The new name for FC Dallas will be "FC Dallas Code Red Brought To You By Mountain Dew".

 Just like what Clark Hunt says about the players, this is also a little hard to swallow.

Just like what Clark Hunt says about the players, this is also a little hard to swallow.

"This fits the new league mandate of sponsoring everything at all times," said owner Clark Hunt. "We are required to sell a number of different club opportunities to different corporate entities until we are covered in advertisements for Massengill and Erectile Dysfunction pills like a NASCAR race team."

Mr Hunt went on to talk about the emerging branding opportunity that will exist for the medical staff on the field. "We know that Mountain Dew has had a 'Dew Crew' for some of their NASCAR pit teams, but we also want to bring this to our club. We will have the CODE RED Dew Crew that consists of our field medical staff and they will allow us to talk about the delicious taste of Mountain Dew Code Red when they go out to treat a compound fracture on the field. It's going to be GREAT!"

 Like this, but for a player that is screaming in agony because he just separated the muscles of his hamstring.

Like this, but for a player that is screaming in agony because he just separated the muscles of his hamstring.

Mr Hunt said that the only time that the proposed name change could cause difficulty is for the announcers should FC Dallas Code Red Brought To You By Mountain Dew make the playoffs.

"Indeed, it could be a problem if the Audi 2015 MLS Cup Playoffs are won by FC Dallas Code Red Brought To You By Mountain Dew, but they aren't competing sponsors. The title would just be a bit of a mouthful."

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the Audi 2015 MLS Cup Playoffs kick off between FC Dallas Code Red Brought To You By Mountain Dew and the Microsoft X-BOX Halo 5: Guardians Seattle Sounders.