Letter To The Editor: THE NUTMEG NEWS IS IN THE POCKET OF THE SOCCER INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX

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Dear Sirs,

You dickheads are in the pocket of "big soccer". No I'm not talking about the web-forum that spawned a thousand angry memes, but rather I'm talking about you being on the take from Garber, Gulati and company to oppress the ongoing revolution against the cabal like mandate given to Major League Soccer by the Illuminati, the Getty's, the Rothschild's, Landon Donovan and Alexi Lalas. WE KNOW WHAT YOU ARE, shills.

Yes, you are.

Now, I have no evidence to support this. None. Absolutely none. 

And just saying this makes me look utterly batshit insane, but I'm going to say it anyway. YOU ARE PART OF THE VAST US SOCCER CONSPIRACY TO DEFRAUD THE YOUTH OF AMERICA. 

You should know that I'm a big deal, and it's definitely my prerogative to just throw out insane conspiracy theories because the world currently doesn't work how I anticipate it should.

You and all your cronies at The Nutmeg News, which is a shit publication, are absolutely shills for the soccer industrial complex and I don't doubt that your stories are vetted by Don Garber himself or one of his underlings before you publish them.

You've never been critical of the league, and your publication is full of lies. 

Thanks,

Reginald VelJohnson

Chicago, USA.